A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a follow up to my post on the 3rd March about my friend staying with me but not contributing to household costs…..My friend was told that her new living space would now not be ready for a further 3 weeks so I told her that I really did need her to contribute a little more to my household bills/shopping if she was staying longer as I was struggling to cover everything. She agreed to see what she could do but 2 days later she decided to pack her stuff and move in to a family members home (where she will be living foc) until she can move into her place. This is great for me but what has upset me is she didn’t even thank me or get me some flowers or anything to show her appreciation.Also what now confuses me is that when she was worrying about where to stay (prior to me inviting her) she was telling me that no one in her family was stepping up to help her! Now all of a sudden a family member can help! I honestly feel used. I thought I knew her well enough and never thought she’d be like this! Also to the person who responded to my previous post questioning if I can have people staying in my house as it may cause me to be evicted - the house is mine, I bought it, I pay a mortgage on it so I can have whoever I like stay over and am not in violation of anything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2024): Could you just tell her you feel unappreciated after helping her out financially and sharing your home with her? Sometimes people don't realise and if she's stressed out maybe she didn't think to thank you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2024): I'm the poster who questioned whether you could have people not-on-the-lease stay there (and potentially cause you to be evicted). I wasn't trying to be rude, it was just a thought. That happened to my daughter years ago. She worked hard to get her own apartment and suddenly friends in crisis came out of the woodwork having nowhere to go... but her place. She thought it'd be nice to help, she'd get her bills lowered by they'd be paying... immediately one quit his job and the girl got fired. Hiring crisis and no one could get a job. Fast food, minimum wage, that was beneath them. So was riding the city bus. She learned the hard way that if they weren't on the lease but were getting mail there she couldn't easily evict them and couldn't force them to pay. When I helped her take them to court (not much came of it in her favor), the "friends" had stopped speaking to her and their parents had nothing nice to say to me.
In other words, one great way to ruin a friendship is to move in together. She was absolutely using you for free rent, food, supplies... yet she probably had all the cash in the world for herself! No wonder her own family didn't want her there! Or, also likely, she knew her family wouldn't put up with her crap and she wanted to live "rules free". Either way, I'm sorry you had to realize she wasn't a friend that way
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