A
female
age
30-35,
*innie123
writes:I have always had higher sex drive than my bf and that has always been bothering me. I would be afraid that he finds me overly sexually active and feels disgusted by me. I spoke to him about this and he said he is fine with it, he isnt disgusted by my sexual activeness. But I think subconsciously I am so afraid that he might feel that way, such that now I dont seem to want to engage in sexual behaviour anymore. Its not that I am not attracted to him, I still want him. Want to be intimate but I cant. Like I dont feel comfortable anymore. And when this happens, I feel unhappy with myself. What should I do so as to get our intimacy back? and without me feeling uncomfortable.Thanks for reading.
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female
reader, LovelyLemon  +, writes (2 March 2012):
 This sounds like an issue that your bf has, not you. Usually when men have little interest in sex it is because they lack confidence or have some other mental inhibition. Become more emotionally intimate may help this problem.
You should never be ashamed of your sexuality and sex drive. Women are socialized to believe that it is dirty or bad for us to enjoy and want sex, but you are perfectly normal.
Much love and Best wishes
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 March 2012):
 Sexual/intimacy mismatches are sure to be nightmares. YOU have to decide how long you'll put up with it.... 'cuz THAT determines how long you'll endure with that partner who is not your sexual/intimacy equal.....
P.S. Been there/done that.... I lasted 4 years....
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 March 2012):
 Ok, well I still don't understand why a boyfriend would not want to kiss you. I'll have to decline comment much beyond that. Sorry, but makes no sense to me.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 Get him to read your post here, and talk to him about it.
It might just be a confidence thing with him.
But if not then you face the age old question usually reserved for males:
Am I willing to put up with this?
My answer has been no every time so far Im afraid.
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A
female
reader, winnie123 +, writes (1 March 2012):
winnie123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you might hae misunderstood.. He really respects me and thus would not really initiate. And now that I am behaving this way, he feels upset that I am not even ready for a kiss which leads to more. What can I do to not feel this way?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 March 2012):
It seems a little strange to me that, considering your age group, your boyfriend is not "up" for sexual activity as frequently or enthusiastically as you. There is an old adage that, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
In this case, it may mean that if you back away from advancing sexual activity, then he might become a bit more amorous. If not, then it would seem you two are not a very good match.
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