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I feel unappreciated and I don't know where this relationship is going...

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hiya:)

Right my question is about my boyfriend.

It may seem like something very petty and silly to ask about it, but it's making me reconsider our relationship, so it's something to me and I'd be so grateful with any advice!

Basically, I was 'seeing' my boyfriend for around 2 months, and then we got together and it's officially been about 2 months (nearly three).

Now my problem is about where our relationship is going. We get on amazing, and we're so similar, and very mature about the way we look at life, and he's basically a guy version of me. Although recently I've felt quite unappreciated. He never takes me out, ever. I'm not saying I want him to buy me gifts and take me for meals and do romantic gestures every week, but he hasn't done anything like that for me.

Even worse, he once said he would take me out for a meal, had £50 then called me up after a few days laughing telling me he'd spent it all at the pub, but I can stay at his if he wanted.

I've never been bothered about this type of thing, I've been treated quite badly in the past (being cheated on etc) and for once, I've actually though, no I deserve better.

However I'm worried to say something. I don't want him to think I want loads of things off him and I'm the one that doesn't appreciate him.

Should I say something?

Or am I in the wrong even?

Any advice would be great, because at the minute I'm even considering if we should be together, do we think what's important in a relationship is too different?

xxxx

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (13 April 2011):

cupidus agony auntJust put the bug in his ear that you're thinking of moving to another part of the country or that you're going on a cruise with your GF's.

See how he reacts to news of you not being available to him.

Then actually do other things, don't stop your life waiting for him to do anything for you.

Men do know how to court a woman. They know the rules.

Many men will go out of their way to get those rules right.

Well an interested man will. A lazy or uninterested man won't. A man with no thoughts on his own future won't.

A man with a drinking problem won't. A man with no intention of pleasing you won't.

Also don't be so believing his every word. If you don't have the right questions you won't get the right answers.

Sometimes we all have a way of letting the little things go, of pulling the woolies over our eyes to protect our fears of be unloved or unlovable. Not so good guys not only have this problem but they will use is to get what they want. I think that's why we have Guts, listen to your gut, then go fill it with a pint or two with a friend.

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