A
female
age
36-40,
*mandalee
writes:I stated working in my dad's company beginning of this year and all was good until this woman who is 6 years older than me started trying to compete with me. I thought i was the only one who noticed but the other ladies at work told me as well. I'd go shopping and than the next week you'd seeing her wearing new things. or like I'd wear a certain style and than the next week and sometimes the next day she'd wear the same style. I'm only 20 and shes 26(she has a baby!)but shes always worrying about what i wear and where i shop! and now shes starting to copy the same hairstyle. I feel honored that she admires my style but its really getting on my nerves! i try so hard to ignore her but shes just irritating! I really don't know what her problem is because i'm still young and worse i'm the bosses daughter but she still wants to compete with me. Some people think shes jealous of me but i think she has a problem with herself. I mean why cant she compete with people her age if she really has to. i mean every one her age is settling down, buying houses and gettting married and shes worrying about me.She has a child but she's still changes her men like her other wears and she still living with all her sisters, their children and her cousin. I feel those are the things she needs to focus on. like her future! like everyone her age is doing!! i really don't know what to do with her! help!
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female
reader, samohir  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Oh yeah, Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Uncle Phill i will agree!
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Hi there Amandalee,
Honestly, the first thing that I thought of was that this woman may be lonely and looking for a friend. Perhaps by adopting your styles as her own, she would be able to have you identify with her more.
Have you tried talking with her? I mean, more than just business-talk. She may just be looking for a friend. Sometimes taking someone else's style is subconciously a way of reaching out to those around you.
From what you describe of her, she seems like she is sort of "lost" (or at least she is according to you) and you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. Perhaps she just really admires you - not just your style.
I would try not to be irritated at this, but rather take it as an opportuity to befriend someone who is looking for friendship. And six years is not that big of an age difference, really. You may find that the both of you have a lot in common and that you really get along. Try to turn this negative into a positive.
I actually just now read Sugarbuns' and Phil's responses. I would pay attention to what they have to say, as well. It seems like they're onto something. ^_^
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Phil
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 First of all being 26 is hardly "old" regardless of the fact that she has a baby. As most of us age, we rarely ever feel as old as we are. She probably still sees herself as 22 and she probably enjoys the freshness you bring to the work place, and wants to be fashionable like you are. Has it ever occurred to you that she might be looking for a friend, instead of an enemy? I don't know how many times I've seen a younger woman and really liked her style of fashion. Now I admit, I would probably try not to make it so obvious, like I'm copying her every day, but it probably has less to do with jealousy, and more to do with admiration and a desire to have you as a friend. Instead of freaking out about it, why not just make friends with her? Your age difference is hardly worth noticing. You might learn something from each other. You will keep her young, and she will help you see things through a different pair of eyes. I have friends of all age groups. Most of the time I still see myself as someone who is 35 (most people think I am anyhow) so age is irrelevant in some ways. I think if you choose to only surround yourself with women who are 20, you will fail to enjoy the wealth of knowledge and experience that comes from having a few older girlfriends. Once you stop acting superior you'll be able to make a wide circle of wonderful women friends who will enrich your life as you grow older yourself. Good luck.
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