A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about my feelings for my g/f.We have been going out for over a month, and have been best friends for about half a year. I truly think I love her, but she has had sex before several times with multiple guys. The relationship she has and with me has supposedly been the longest she has ever had by far.But I'm wondering why whenever I'm with her, and I recall that she has had sex before, I feel like an extremely strong love for her. On the other hand an extreme sadness at the same time. Those with just a horrid butterfly feeling. I have a little bit of jealousy but not near as much as I would expect from myself.What are these feeling about? I have never really experienced this feeling before.
View related questions:
best friend, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): More info needed. Are you feeling sad for her or you. My guess is its the latter.Its simple when you have sex chemicals are released in the brain that bond you to your sexual partner. Your sadness comes from knowing your partner as made these bonds with other men. Human are descended from animals and these instinct are kicking in, you have multiple potential rivals for your mate.It will take alot of working at but it can be overcome with knowledge.Good luck
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 You're not alone. There are heaps of posts dealing with this issue on Dear Cupid. Sadness is one way of reacting. Others react with anger, pain, disgust... In many ways it's normal and natural for a man to feel like this, but it has to be overcome if you are to be happy with her.
Try a search on Dear Cupid with the words "her past" or "her history". You'll find lots of posts and lots of advice.
...............................
A
female
reader, angela2  +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Hi, do not worry too much. I used to have the same feelings. The man I used to love had many women before me as he was much much older than me. But for me he was the first one. Whenever I thought about how much he loved his ex g/f and how many sexs he had with women before me, it hurt me. I know the feeling is awful. So I become introspective and asked myself whether I really cared so much about his past. If I did I knew I would not be happy even if we were together as I would think about it from time to time. If not, then tried to ignore it and focus on his feelings for me. It turned out that I did care about. So I decided to give up on him before I become too emotionally involved.I hope my story can help give some insipation.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Its normal. I'm having similar feelings: My girlfriend had 'adult relations' with her a**h*le ex boyfriend whom she never loved, and her gave her an STB and she swore off sex... It's also a long distance relationship. We get along so great, and she's really nice, and smart, and funny.
When I'm with her, nothing could feel more right. But the fact of the matter is, I rarely get to see her; she goes to school some distance away, and she's not a huge phone person... I do talk with her online. Our physical relationship leaves very much to be desired.
When Im not with her, and I think of her, I become extremely aroused, and happy... But then I flip back to being sad, depressed, alone... And sometimes, like you, both at the same time.
It's a strange thing, I know, but the best way to beat it is to be the boss of your own mind. Its not as hard as it sounds. Think what you want, when you want, and dont be subject to the wandering train of thought.
...............................
|
