A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been having some 'fun' with a co-worker we discussed it before starting and she said she was cool just getting together now and then but all we do is have a kiss and hand job for me and I finger her, she wont go any further and I have begged her to go down on me because I really get turned on, she says she's really into me but cant. I have approached her and she says that she is cool with what we are doing but I actually want to have sex with her but shes a bit shy and inexperiened and she was honest enough to say that she has never had sex with someone before and she would like to sleep with me but she says the situation doesn't feel right. What should I do, I don't want a girlfriend but I feel that she wants me as a boyfriend and we were just supposed to be having fun.
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co-worker, hand-job, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 January 2010):
Please let her go. She wants you as a boyfriend and really wants you to love her and you simply don't want that. It would be cruel to continue like this, because she's going to end up hurt.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Ok, let me get this straight.
You want to have sex with her, take her virginity, yet you dont want to be her boyfriend?
Do you not think that is a tiny bit selfish on your part?
If she is the same age as you, and she is still a virgin, then sex means something to her - she isnt going to throw it away for a quick fix. She has waited for the right person to come along, who actually wants to be with her, not someone who just wants to use her.
At the moment, you are having a bit of fun, and you are getting off on it. She is pushing her boundaries with you, and although im sure she is enjoying it, she doesnt feel comfortable enough to give you her virginity, because she knows that you will run off as soon as the deed is done.
What you want is a FWB, or a fuck buddy - you really dont care about her feelings at all, as long as you get to have sex. If she sleeps with you, being her first, she will get attached to you, and then when you say that you dont want to be her boyfriend, she will be crushed and very hurt.
If sex is all you want, then you need to find another woman who doesnt care about emotional sex, and only wants a penis to get off with. This one wants a boyfriend, not a fuck buddy.
Be the gentleman, let her go and find a woman who wont mind being used.
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