A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really in deep love with this guy, we know each other for only 4 months, but it just feels good.The problem is, that i put so much value on "material" things u know, maybe because im accustumed to it, and had linked them with love which i know is wrong but simply it consumes me a lot and makes me happy. Now the problem is, i have genuine feelings for this guy,but he didnt gave me any "valuable" thing and got that damn feeling that im used. On the other hand, ive become needy, i need him to have a conversation, to hug and kiss and everything but afterwards feel so bad.I dont know, and dont think he feels the same, he txt me, sms me everyday, but just have also that feeling that he is needy at this moment too. So we re needy couple i guess, the only difference is that he gets what he wants and i do not. How do you think i can solve this? It started tormenting me so much that i cannot do my daily things normally,and i know if i stop this, i will regret ,if i dont, i will back home everythime devestated. Please any help!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirstly, thanks for answering me. jm81690 I think You're right completely.I can assume u imply for my post with an escort.Wanna just say that escort is a kind of work and this is something different.Im with this guy on my own desire.maybe have missed something, but wondering from Male perspective, wouldnt any male care to buy something nice to the girl that he likes and thinks to have something serious with,particularly when their relationship is in beginning?Its not that i put much value on gifts, I like,as every girl does..and agree that there are many other more valuable things in relationship..But how to interpret his actions of not buying me anything?Or Buying me a box of some cheap chocolates, only after to discover he had bought 2 or maybe more? With, (his words) intention to give me one now and one later? I realy love this guy, but cannot bear this things..Do you think i should be more explicit,and tell him that i want present in order to go on? That, it will solve all the insecurities? He maybe wanted to give me different treatment, but he is deeply wrong.Im like that, and cannot change me.
What is your opinion?
Thank you again for answering, would appriciate if you share ur opinion again with me.
A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 Well, if he's not willing to give his girlfriend any gifts or or anything that's something he needs to work on a bit.But if you think material items are that important you definatley need to work on that, I read your other post too and I think you guys should just sit down and settle it out, theres no need to put your relationship in trouble over something as little as the quality of gifts you recieve.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 September 2007):
You cant control or change your bf, but what you CAN do is work on yourself. So rather then thinking of changing him into ap erson who gives you presents (material style) think about change YOUR way of thinking. And in all honestly even if you could change him, I think you are the one who should change because being materalistic isnt the best way of being in life.
Look at all the other non-material things he does that show he cares about you....im sure there are plenty of those. You just have to see them and recognise them and perhaps stop being materalistic towards anyone in your life and show them in other ways you care about them. So if you behave non materalistic towards other people you may believe it when other people do it to you.
Sounds to me like you may have some insecurites because you assume he may not like you much when he hasnt seemed to really doing anything to suggest that. Perhaps you should also try working on this. Actually you shoudl, if thats the issue here- inseucirites. Because insecurities can really get in the way in relationships. Horrible thing to have, hwich many of us have. But once you work it out its great :)
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