A
male
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anonymous
writes:A while ago someone at my school said I was worthless. To begin with I didn't listen to him but I'm now starting to think this is true. My friends leave me in the dark sometimes and everytime they go out I look on there pictures (on things like myspace) and they always seem to be having a great time. Yet when I'm there I just feel there is a less optimistic atmosphere. Even a few weeks ago when something really almost life threatening happened to me and I had to go to hospital, only one person called and asked how I was, and everyone of my 'friends' and people at school knew what had happened to me. All these and the fact that my girlfriend left me to go back with her ex has made me feel worthless and I'm starting to reconsider going out on social gatherings i.e. going to clubs, by no longer going to them. I'm scared that the same thing is going to happen to me when I go to college and I'll just be spending all my time up in my dorm room when not in lectures or class. Why d I feel like this, have I done something wrong?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 July 2006):
 To me it sounds less like you're "worthless" than that you're in with the wrong crowd of people.
Firstly, it's horrendous that someone would say to your face that you're a worthless person. In fact, it's so far beyond the pale that it's obvious that there was an agenda there to hurt you, so you can ignore that person's comment.
If the people you hang out with aren't inviting you when they go out, then they're not really your friends. That's pretty simple. You're in the habit of seeing them, but as evidenced by the fact that none but one of them checked on you in hospital, they don't really want your friendship.
So, hey, go and find some new friends! People who like what you like. You'd be surprised how many clubs and groups that have people like you and want you.
Don't fret over the future, though. University is a *completely* and *utterly* different world to the incestuous and cloistered world of high school. Make no mistake! You no longer have to deal with the unloveable adolescents that you've had to endure since age 5; you're dealing with thousands of intelligent adults, people with new ideas and people who get rewarded for thinking outside the square! The possibilities are limitless, and I think you'll finally shine at uni. In fact, make that your goal.
For the time being, though, ditch those people who don't want you, and find some like-minded friends to be with. For preference, try to find an organisation or a club outside school. Try the YMCA, the Police Youth Club, or some independant organisation, like a pipe band, a chicken-breeders' club, a sports team, an aeronautical engineers' group, Scrabble enthusiasts or whatever you excel at.
Hang in there until the end of high school. I'm speaking to you as one of those kids that was always on the periphery of the group, the kid who dressed badly, the kid people giggled about, the poor kid from the housing estate. University is worth the wait!
One final thought. It's not unusual during a person's teen years to have fluctuations in body chemistry that can lead to depression. It doesn't mean you're flawed or crazy, just affected by a chemical imbalance. It's really worthwhile to make an appointment with the doctor to get tested for depression, and either seek treatment, or have it ruled out.
Hope I've helped.
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