A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just found out today that a man I have been in love with for the past 3 years was dating another woman while he was flirting and playing around with me. He never promised me anything and we never spoke about monogamy but it was implied that he was too busy for a relationship and had only a small amount of time for me. I never would have guessed him to be with another woman, I didn't think he had the time for it.The worst part, the other woman is pregnant and looks a little like me. She is darker skinned but has a similar look. I don't know how I ended up in this situation. I thought we had something special together. I feel so stupid, alone and unwanted. I am barely breath while I type this. Help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): If he was just flirting with you but made you no promises then he really didn't do anything other than lead you on. I mean, did he actually ask you out or was this just flirting? You can't assume that you are in a relationship just because someone flirts and when they tell you they don't have time for one then why would you waste your time? 3 years? Did you date him?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Unfortunately there are a lot of flirty people around like that, who it doesn't occur to that you are taking them seriously and who are just having fun flirting. The good news is that you have found this out so the next person who does it you will be warned. Wait until things go further before you take things seriously.
You are not stupid and there will be someone else who will want you. For now, spend time with your friends and don't go looking out for a man unless someone is very definitely interested, and you are too.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 aww hun don't feel like that! it's his loss and his fault! he couldn't see the awesome girl that you are and the feelings you had for him then so be it! it's his problem not yours!
this is nothing to do with you!! not your fault in anyway shape or form all him. he's just a loser thinking he can toy around with girls feelings!
i've been there and done that!!
don't feel stupid you weren't to know! he was crafty and sneaky and slimey making you think it was you he wanted all along.
i'll bet loads of guys out there want you, you've just yet to find them! don't let this sleeze of a man put you down!
if you need to talk message me :)
hope this helps sweetypie x x x x
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 June 2009):
 I am deeply sorry that you had to experience something like this... but my best recommendation to you is to cut this guy loose and find yourself somebody that cares for you exclusively. I'm sure that you know that you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (23 June 2009):
 You had been with him for three years. It was normal for you to trust him.
I hope you can get past this pain that you are going through, but if you do, your pain might soon turn into rage. And when it does, tell on him. Tell her what he was also doing to her.
You are not alone, since this happens to many people. You are not unwanted, because obviously someone wanted you. As I'm sure others did before him. You are not stupid, he is the stupid one. Stop beating yourself up about this, when you are in enough pain as it is.If you mean alone as in people around you, do you have family somewhere?
If you want to talk I am here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Don't let the actions of this two-faced jackass make you feel this way! He can only make you feel bad if you let him and i think he's done enough damage already, so it's time to draw the line at how much he can do!
It's times like these in life when we just have to be strong, pick ourselves up, learn from the experience, and start over.
I suggest going out with friends or family, making new connections to new people, and you'll start realizing how loved you can be. You don't need this jerk to be the one to make you feel loved.
Maybe next time you'll know to be a little more careful about and not so quick to trust who you're with.
And get angry girlfriend! Not so much sadness.. you don't deserve that. It'll feel good to be mad at him... Ooooo and then you can yell at him and really get it out of your system.
Goodluck!
~SY.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is one of life's silly 'tricks'. It happens. Sorry if it were painful, but it happened to you.Technically he is not wrong, since he never promised anything, never exceeded a certain limit...etc.Practically he is a total jerk, mega one. He's just a pathetic man who is insecure inside, and wants more girls to make him feel desired, especially when he feels 'absorbed' by that other woman he's with. Now that she's pregnant that feeling will get even deeper inside of him. Poor him, little pathetic thing.Humans face two kinds of enemies; an enemy who comes from outside, like someone suddenly slapping you on the face. It is a hard to expect enemy, and handling it depends on your fighting skills and more.The second type is the enemy that comes from inside, which comes with the greatest pain usually. Sadness, despair, and excessive lust are good examples for that enemy.You are in pain now, remember that this is the enemy that comes from inside. No one on earth can make it stop but you by getting stronger than it, and ordering it instead of it ordering you.Oh yeah and forget that jerk totally as if he never existed. You deserve much better, and you will have much better I think.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): if i had a pound for every time a guy has said to me he's 'too busy' for a relationship i'd be a millionaire. it's going to be hard but move on, everybody says it and it's so difficult to do but seriously you cant put up with that! iv been in a similar situation, a boy i was in love with for almost 2 years when we broke up he always flirted with me and kissed me and basically used me because he played on the feelings i had for him, then i find out hes got another girlfriend already? in the end i couldnt do it to myself anymore, i deleted every possible way i could speak to him and see what he was upto, and i felt sooo much better, maybe you should consider doing the same?some boys just dont care, so why should you? go out there and enjoy your life, dont let some silly guy who blatently doesnt give a crap be the end of you. move on and be successful in your life. (:
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