| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm 18. I've never had many friends, still don't. Not because i'm weird or anything like that, just because i don't really identify myself with most people i know. I used to not care about all that, but recently i've been feeling really low..I have some friends that i talk to the most, but i only have two close friends. I was always so happy that i had someone who i could identify myself with. I've never had a boyfriend and i have never been kissed, they were in the same situation.Recently, they've both gotten a boyfriend. I was happy for them, but at the same time it made me look to myself and realize how lonely i am. I feel so out of place. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
View related questions:
never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Sucks huh? I'm in the same hole of hell as you are, but I think I have a way out:)I used to have a group of friends that I identified with, and I really enjoyed their company, but now we're in seperate schools. Now, like yourself, the problem isn't that I can't make friends, it's more that I can't identify with them nearly as much as I did with my true friends, who seem to be slowly moving on.The key thing is first of all, don't feel as though you have to move on at the the same pace as your friends. In your context, that means try not to feel like you're a lonely person because you friends got boyfriends. It came to them, and it will come to you. Try to enjoy the anticipation.The second part is the part that I kind of have to thank you for helping me with: don't feel out of place or like you have a disposition, becasuse at one point or another, most of us feel the exact same way.
A
female
reader, thereafter  +, writes (2 January 2011):
There is not a thing wrong with you. You sound as though you strive for individuality rather than conformity by being selective about who your good friends are. It is typical to feel a bit lonely, but you can shine all by yourself. I was a lot like you and found that I had a creative talent, which made others admire me. My older sister had her date calendar filled, which gave me the opportunity to witness her mistakes and learn. In the meantime, I made new friends, invested time in myself by doing things I wanted to do.
...............................
A
male
reader, young_and_confused  +, writes (2 January 2011):
I think you are an honest person when you say you only have two friends. I am suspicious of people who say they have many friends. It is easy to have many acquaintances, but hard to even find one friend with whom you can "think aloud" to.My own personal experience is that 18 is a very hard age when it comes to friends. I remember feeling very lonely then, as it was a time of transition, with my friends choosing their own paths, and I felt left behind. But I did eventually find new friends as I chose my own path as well.As for a boyfriend, believe me, you have time. You are still figuring out your life and when you do that it is hard to find someone else to share it with--because you do not know what exactly it is yet! Just continue to pursue your interests and keep your integrity, and everything else will fall into place.
...............................
|
