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I feel so bad that he has a girlfriend!

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2012)
A female New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone. Im bit confused and hope you all might help me. There is this guy working with me who is 6 years younger then me. His my best friend...i always share my problems with him. We always fight and tease each other. Today i came to know that his dating one girl. At work i was teasing him by that girl's name but when i came home i cried alot. I dont know why but im not happy from inside...I dont feel like eating or talking to anyone. His thoughts are just in my mind and i just feel like crying. I know his too young for me...plus he treats me just as a friend and nothing else. Please help me. What can i do to stop feeling bad from inside.

View related questions: at work, best friend, has a girlfriend, teasing

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou like him in a way he can reciprocate. That hurts.

If being around him and being friends hurt, you might want to cut back on hanging out with him. Honestly, I wouldn't tell him how you feel.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou want this guy as more than a friend...

if you are 26 and he's 20 that can seem a bit too much

and at 29 and 23 it might be a bit much too... but I can tell you that when my Fiance was 23 and I was 36 it would NOT have worked... but now it's not an issue with me being 52 and him being 39.....

the issue is however is that he has a girlfriend. and MEN with active relationships need to be off limits in terms of dating... (same as women with partners).... partnered people are OFF limits in terms of pursuing them... because if you do go after him and he leaves his GF for you, how will you NOT wonder if he would do the same scummy thing to you?

you must just put him being more than a friend out of your mind. if you can't cope you could end the friendship too.

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A female reader, Just Gill United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2012):

Just Gill agony auntAge is just a number, Clearly you have strong feeling for him if this is the result. I dont need to stress the importance of eating to you, as i'm sure you are already aware of the damage it can cause. Talking is what you should do...with him. If he's your friend he'll understand. You can have a quiet word with him alone at the end of your shift and explaine to him that you like him. How long has he been going out with this other person? Do you know the in's and out's of their relationship? The only thing i can say is if you do decide to talk to him regarding your feelings just be prepaired to hear that he only likes you as a friend.

I will say that it's hard to tell yourself its ok and you'll get through it. Time does heal! thats all it takes is time. Its perfectly natural to feel the way your feeling just now, it will pass however.

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