A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don’t really know what’s wrong with me, or how to write this. Basically, I’m very unhappy, and I have been for a year now, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve had various issues with self-esteem, sleeping, my mood, confidence, appetite and energy levels. This all started around Christmas 08, I suppose because at that time (and now) I was struggling with an unrequited love situation. I’m not sure if I would feel down anyway though, and that’s irrelevant? Or if I’m just suffering from “heartache”?Anyway, that seriously affected me, I was knocked me back. The hating myself thing kind of came from there. All my confidence went too; I barely say a word at school anymore, even just with my friends during break times. Soon enough my parents and form tutor noticed I was not myself. I had some supposedly “informal” counselling sessions set up by the school, but they didn’t go very well to be honest. Even if I wanted some, I’m not sure I would be able to get any more, because my tutor who set it up has just left the school. I’m reluctant to talk to a doctor, partly because neither me or my mum want me to “go down the medication route” at fourteen, and partly because I don’t think I’m bad enough for that. Well, I don’t know. Is there some sort of boundary from where you go from “hormonal/moody/upset” to “depressed”?! I don’t self-harm, though I won’t pretend it hasn’t crossed my mind before. I just can’t bring myself to do it. In my lowest times I have often end up crying, pretty uncontrollably, in the mornings before school for no particular reason. Sometimes, during the day, I am able to feel better, if I really try. It’s almost like I’m “surfacing” from something, but it takes so much effort; it makes me exhausted. I have nightmares pretty much every night, or I just lie awake.None of my friends understand, and I don’t like talking about it to them. I have to put on an act of general cheerfulness at school, which makes me even more exhausted. It’s like that at home too; only my mum recognises what I’m feeling, but she doesn’t know about the unrequited love thing, which is what’s often on my mind. My dad is quite a hard person to live with, he gets depressed as well (in fact he had a breakdown when he was a teenager), but he often channels it through other moods, so he gets angry pretty easily. It just makes me feel worse if he storms about the fact I’m down, because it’s something I thought he would understand. Anyway, sorry it turned out so long. Thank you for reading it if you got this far! Basically do you think I am depressed? Related or unrelated to the “heartache” thing? What can I do? Thank you xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys, thank you so much for all your responses, much appreciated. Just people comfirming I wasn't making something out of nothing helped; I am going to talk to my mum properly tomorrow, and hopefully we can decide something about going to a doctor or "talking to someone". Oh, and to strongfp, once spring rolls around and it's light in the mornings, I'll go jogging every day before school (I did that last year).
Thank you again, happy new year :-) x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): while i also agree with the no medication avenue also, i would recommend that you see a doctor and have some blood work done. There are a multitude of things that can cause a pubescent female to have these feelings. My daughter had the same problem, and she was diagnosed as being depressed. However we were able to avoid medication. A mineral or vitamen deficiency, hormonal imbalance, mononucleuosis, lots of easily treated things. There are possibly homeopathic things that could help. Hope this helps...Mal
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 December 2009):
Yes, you are depressed, and there could be something genetic on your family if your father had depression and a nervous breakdown as a teenager. I know you don't want to go to the doctor, but I think you need to because it could be a genetic thing that you need to have checked. You don't necessarily need medication, there is also specialist counselling. You'll probably find your father doesn't understand because he doesn't know he's having problems. Please see the doctor and explain everything to them.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 At 14 I agree with your mum about the medication thing, but you could probably benefit from talking to a counselor. Since the unrequited love issue is hanging heavily on your mind and you don't want to discuss it with your mother, you may find it easier to talk to someone who is impartial and will just listen to you. A counselor can help you look at what's going on and help you come up with solutions.
Best of luck, Sweetie.
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