A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my girlfriend online 7 months ago and we have been living together for the past 4 months. We use to talk on the phone everyday for the first 3 months. She came here from a different country to visit me and hasn't been back to her country since. We have been on rocky ground lately, she seems so mad and distant lately. She complains about everything even though I try to do everything to make her happy. I have become so resentful of how she treats me. I do love her but should i still try to make it work? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lucy6  +, writes (23 June 2018):
Communication is key! Tell her how you feel, ask her why she treats u like she does? Maybe it's also the initial being on cloud 9/pink cloud that's over aka maybe she sees your flaws or she is annoyed by some things you do, because they are different compared to hers.
Everyone has their quirks. Maybe it's something completely different.
She can doubt the relationship or living together, maybe she doesn't want to leave you, maybe she worries about how a long distance relationshp is going to work?
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (22 June 2018):
 You both moved things to the next level way, way too quickly!This is why she is feeling and behaving as she is and this is why you are at a loss to comprehend.You both had great expectations that most likely haven't been met to the full or even at all.You both would have greatly benefited by waiting longer before moving in together, rather than getting way too close, too quickly.When a new relationship is too rushed, then things can and often do go downhill soon after. Not always, but very often.Despite all of this, the two of you must sit down, face to face and talk, talk, talk!Do your best to talk without anger, aggression and judgement.Be kind and polite to each other. It will help loads.The sooner the better and after an open and serious discussion, you can both work out and decide (with more conviction) where you both wish to take your relationship.You've only known each other 7 months and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't much time at all, to get to know each other properly, strengths, weaknesses and all.If you both carry sincere love and a future commitment in your hearts for each other, then i'd say, yes, it can and most probably would work out, however, if one or either of you are lacking in these areas, then i'd say, your relationship doesn't carry much hope for the future.Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 June 2018):
 She sounds as unhappy as you do, so you two need to sit down and talk. You need to tell each other exactly WHY you are so unhappy.
The relationship sounds to have moved far too quickly. Perhaps she is now regretting it. Perhaps she is missing home. Perhaps perhaps perhaps . . . There could be numerous reasons we could guess at and even more that would not even enter our heads.
Ask her why she is unhappy. Say it in such a way that will encourage her to be open and honest with you. Tell her you are also unhappy and that you want to try to make the relationship work for BOTH of you. Then be prepared to listen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2018): There may be several things going on here. Culture-shock, home-sickness, and moving things far too fast.
You met online; and immediately decided to start a commitment. It takes time to establish, define, and nurture a budding relationship. You are moving at a whirlwind-pace; and I could even compare your move to an act of desperation, born out of loneliness.
There is a disillusionment on both sides. Neither of you is finding the person you each imaged the other to be. Reality has replaced your fairy-tale romance and false-perceptions with the low-down nitty-gritty of whom you're both dealing with. You're not the prince she imaged; and she's the love-struck princess you thought you've found. You're two strangers stuck with each other now that you've both come-down from cloud-9!
Your euphoria has worn-off. Now what?
I don't think you've had enough time to truly fall in-love with her; and she doesn't love you.
People meet online and create an image of themselves to please the desires of their love-interest. Living-up to that character is a whole different thing. She led you to believe one thing about her; and you led her to believe another about yourself. I guess she has decided you're not the guy she met online. Now you see she's not that girl!
You're deluded if you think you're in-love. At best, you're infatuated; and she was expecting something entirely different. Now she's disappointed; and that's what you see.
I suggest you give her the plane-fare to send her back to where she came from.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 June 2018):
 Moving in together after only 3 months of talking is WAY too soon, so it might not be so strange it's not really working out right now.
But regardless of whether you want to try and make it work or give up, you two need to talk.
You two need to figure out where to go from here. She also need to make sure she is in the country LEGALLY as most tourist visas are only 90 days. Otherwise you BOTH can end up in trouble.
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