A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 23 year old girl. Single. Struggling businesswoman. I have lots of true friends, a loving, caring family. My career and hobbies- all are enough to make me happy. But it is a kind of unsaid peer pressure here to have a boyfriend. It is not like I am not interested in boys, but the thing is I don't feel like having a relationship. I feel complete anyway. I even dream for knight in shining armour. But don't feel that it is mandatory to have a boyfriend.I just don't want myself to loose my coolness over this peer pressure. Help me to regain my confidence and determination.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2015): be glad you have had your share of relationships
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 October 2015):
 If folks say you need a boyfriend. Tell them they need a pet monkey. You don't NEED what you don't want.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (21 October 2015):
 Be confident in the fact that you feel you don't need BF and comfortable that you don't want one. You should feel free to live your life to the beat of your own drum. If you a not ready then you won't be willing to invest yourself anyway, so giving in to peer pressure for the sake of others will only be a problem for you to be having to deal with, not anyone else. 23 and trying run a business..how much more confidence do you need lol?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015): My dear, you don't need a boyfriend until you're darned ready to have one. It's not what other people think anyway, is it?
Unless your parents are nagging you for grand-kids, and you're hearing the ever-irritating comment: "You're such a nice person, it's said you're alone!" I listened to this for years after my partner passed away. If you feel whole and happy, enjoy it! Don't use it to avoid mature relationships. They're essential to your psychological growth as a person, and good for your emotional-development.
You're young, productive, and you have love all around you!
So there's no deficit for love at the moment. But there are different kinds of love to appreciate. Romance!
Now don't ignore young men who flirt or offer to take you on a date. You do have to have a love-life in order to gain experience in maintaining a relationship. You can become quite selfish and self-centered when your life is all about YOU! Not to say you shouldn't give your all to developing your business! You still have a life beyond that. Be focused, but be flexible.
You shouldn't commit to anyone until you're absolutely ready to. However; on the other hand, there are too many awkward millennials out there, who have no clue how to initiate or conduct a romantic-connection, how to behave on a date, or how to socialize. That takes a lot of practice. You have to exercise your emotional muscles. Many avoid dating because it makes them feel awkward, or feel they're not attractive to other people.
Are you sure you're not making excuses; because that is the case? I'm just say-in'!!!
You should never feel pressured to do anything! If you're not absolutely sure you like guys, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You still have to practice at keeping yourself adept at entertaining menfolk. You're a woman. Part of that is interacting with men, as well as other women. Trying to pretend your life is so busy and happy is going to start to sound like what I suspect. An excuse. Dodging social situations requiring a non-business side of yourself. Keeping close to family is fine, but you also have to develop charm and refinement; if you want a successful business. That requires interacting outside of your comfort zone on different levels. Even as a gay man, I had to develop close relationships with women.
Avoidance is often hidden behind not needing other people, because we're too busy with our careers? I'm wise. I've used that excuse myself. Now I know better.
Enjoy your freedom as long as you can. It's nobody's business when you'll want to settle down, if you'll want kids, or a husband. At 22, you've got plenty of time for that. Just stay in practice with dating and socializing for the sake of romance, intimacy, and affection. It's good for you. You're an adult now.
Just don't try to convince yourself you can do fine without being in-love. I know some very powerful and successful ladies who get sauced when we all get together; and they tell me how they just let their love-lives and best years slip by. How they feel they were over-dedicated to success, and gave the best years of their lives to their careers. They could have had it all. Yes, they look back in retrospect, and wish they could have included love and relationships to balance things out. They've got lots of money, and have to raise an eyebrow wondering whether men like them for themselves, or their earning-potential.
Let dating be a part of your fun life. Let guys know that you aren't interested in anything long-term or serious; just some romance, exploring your emotions, and companionship without pressure. It's good for the heart, and keeps you well-rounded as a person.
What's life without men, if you do like guys? Don't date unless you want to, and until your want to. That's the key. If you keep turning potential prospects down? Once you're past your prime, you'll be doing the same as some of my successful lady friends. Not to say, they aren't happy; but it can be lonely at the top.
Every guy you date isn't going to want to be your boyfriend, or going to ask you to marry them. As most single and available women, and gay men, will tell you!
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