A
female
age
36-40,
*osie1
writes:Someone please offer me some advice... I'm feeling a little confused at the moment. I'm 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and have lived together for the past year. We have a series of rough patches where all we seem to do is argue and bicker but have always worked it out in the end. It seems to be happening again - arguing all the time, shouting at each other, I've been told to get out and had my belongings thrown around the house, attempted to drag me out the front door by my feet whilst balling my eyes out.I get so upset by it that I can't control the crying. I just keep wondering to myself will it always be like this... I seem to get the blame for most of the rows. What would you do? Part of me wants to walk away and wash my hands with it, the other half wants it to be ok like it is when we are not arguing. Please help... I feel rubbish at the moment because of this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Hey.. I know exactly how you feel..
I was in a relationship for over three years.. we argued and bickered and had a ton of problems but in the end we always complimented on ourselves for always being able to work things out. We thought taht our relationship was getting stronger through all those rough patches..
but then i hit a realization..
The only reason i was still with him was because i thought i was comfortable in the relationship because we had been together for so long and i couldn't see how i could get along without him. After you're together for a while, that's what happens.. you think you couldn't very well survive without the person.
I eventually left.. It took a long time because i was confusing my love for comfort, and i didn't want to hurt him. I still cared about him eventhough i wasn't in love with him. I was miserable at first, but after a while i was happier then i could ever be.. and then i met who is now my husband.
Thnk about your future: do you think that if you marry this guy, that everything will be better, just because you're married? can you see you two doing this for the rest of your lives? think about it like that for a while.. and think about life without him.. Is it so horrible?
When love is true, it's hard to be mad all the time. I can't be mad at my husband for very long at all.. I love him too much.. and he's never even yelled at me, no matter how mad he is.. and i think he's only cursed at me once.
Goodluck..
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