A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what to do or how i can stop myself from feeling this way.I've had a pretty shit year with relationships. My boyfriend was living with a couple who verbally abused him and treated us like shit and him like a slave. You couldn't believe what she did to us and how we were treated. I hated it but he wouldn't move out and i didn't have a say in the matter because i didn't live with him, but visited often. He wasn't treating me properly during this time and had no consideration for my feelings and didn't see the issue because he was the one paying the rent for the flat. It was a horrible time and our relationship suffered alot. I had enough and told his parents who told him it wasn't on and they came to the flat and had an arguement with the couple and he moved out. (i wasn't there and i didn't get any closure with the terrorists)I need to see one of the couple at uni in my classes and i hate her so much. i have never had anyone i actually hated and i hate her with so much passion. It's been 3 months since he left them and i am still having nightmares of screaming and yelling at her and hitting her. I was so full of rage at the time and i wasn't allowed to shout at them or say anything to them because he said so and said he didn't want the boat rocked because he had to live with them. It just happend that his parents came up and dealt with it all and i didn't get any say to get it off of my chest at them. I feel it's been getting at me and i'm constantly shouting at her in my dreams everything i wanted to tell her for the 2 years he spent living with her. The dreams are driving me mad. I feel obcessed with this woman and making sure she gets what's coming to her. Everyone in the class hates her as well and i feel like a bad person when we sit and talk about her. But its the only time where i feel i can vent my suppressed anger that i can never shout at her for what she did to us. (it's pretty much by that stage because she just never talks or makes eye contact with me).How can i get over this obcession and live my life normally! I've never hated anyone so much or let anyone affect me so negatively. I was a nice quiet, hard-working straight A type of girl before. I feel like im turning into someone like her and i don't want to be at her level! I can't get out of this! It seems like i think about shouting at her or thinking of something to laugh at her about everyday. I'm constantly trying to think of things to undermine her and make her look stupid the way she treated us. I want her out of my head and out of my life! What can i do?!
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female
reader, robinp93401  +, writes (23 October 2009):
In her eyes, she won. Get back with your guy, pretend she doesn't exist, don't let her rule your world. Right now she has complete control over you, you need to get that control back, immediately! When you are ready to fall asleep at night, think of the good things you've experienced in your life, seriously. You CAN control what you dream about. It might take some time but if you do this you will eventually be rid of it. This might sound stupid to you, but yoga classes can teach you to focus more, to concentrate. You need to learn how to clear your mind. Trust me, I know what you're talking about. Just think about who you are, what you believe in, how much your family and friends loves you. She doesn't exist, and every time you talk about her you are empowering HER and not YOU. Is she worth it? I think not.
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