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I feel my lover is slipping away from me because I can't open up to her.

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *nloveoutofmind writes:

im in a lesbian relationship with the love of my life but i cant open up to her which causes her to do the same thing. i find myself being very hypocritical towards her but for some reason i cant open up what should i do? a feel like she is slipping away

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A female reader, your.fave United States +, writes (11 July 2008):

your.fave agony auntI myself find it hard to express my feelings when something is wrong. My boyfriend has finally been able to have me tell him how I really feel. It has expanded our relationship on a deeper level. When you are more open, our partner will feel more comfortable because they will know what you are really feeling and thinking. And wont have to second guess. (ie) if you arin a bad mood- they ask whats wrong, its no big deal, so you dont tell them. They will think they did something wrong, and therefore try to steer clear of you in fear that they will make it worse.

Just say it. thats all the advice anyone can give. its hard, but if you want your relationship, it has to be done.

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A female reader, crystal clear xx United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2008):

Ok, first of all you need to really consider what it is shes asking you to open up about and how important it is for you to keep quiet about it. Is it that you are afraid that if you open up that you'll lose her? Already you feel that she's slipping away because you wont open up!! Everyone is entitled to their own privacy its one of the things only we can hold onto. Relationships should work both ways but you should never feel pressurised into doing or saying something that you dont feel comfortable with. You need to talk to your lover and explain what a big deal this is for you and ask them for their patience and understanding. Let them know that it isn't that you dont trust them but you'd like to open up at your own pace.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008):

What are you worrying about? The fact shes slipping away.

Can you do anything about it? Yes you can you can open up to her. If you can't do that, then you can't do anything about it, and should stop worrying because you can't alter what is going to happen.

You should just bite the bullet. Write down all your emotions, everything you want to say to her. Sorry for not doing it earlier, and explain that you can't open up to her.

Write all that down on paper and just give it to her. Don't think about the fact that your giving it to her, just do it because you love her and you need to do it. Would you rather you just lost her?! Never getting the chance to do it?!

Or would you just give her the letter and allow her to help you. Everyone that loves someone cares about them and would help them to open up. If you can't you need to dig deeper. Maybe your shy, maybe your worried. You need to get pass these things and keep searching for the key to unlock those obstacles and get past them.

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