A
female
age
36-40,
*ishdish
writes:I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years, going to be moving in together in about 6months, which I'm excited about, but sometimes I get nervous about my relationship because my bf seems so certain that I am his future, he sees it going on forever, as long as I let it. usually i feel more secure when we're together, physically, so we can read each other and stuff, but he's in afghanistan right now and when he's so far away, i have a hard time relating to him and my feelings for him sort of recedeI have to remind myself it won't be like this when he comes back, that our relationship is sort of in a stunted form right now, that it's not normally like this; on the other hand, he still feels SO confident, he's never doubted his love or his feelings or that i'm right for him..he actually says that I, or how he feels about me, is what's getting him through this deployment! i just feel like i struggle so much more to stay afloat, that i really have to work at it to not see our relationship fall apart. i'm scared to bring up my insecurity with him because long distance has gotten to me before, for example, a month into his first deployment i freaked out because things didn't feel the same and i had doubts it was right and we broke up for a couple of days..my relationship just feels so fragile, i'm scared I'll break it, i always have this lurking dread that i am going to cause the demise of the relationship. I don't know how the fix this, to feel ease about him being away. I have been keeping busy, so it's not necessarily a fixation/obsession problem..any suggestions?
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (29 November 2009):
fishdish is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to all aunts, for not making me feel like something was wrong with me! I'll stick out this deployment, and just hope that things will go back to normal when he gets back. If I go through another strong spell, I'll be sure to PM. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): Wait until he gets home and is with you. Look at your feelings then. It could possibly well be that it's not HIM you are insecure about, but the relationship. You don't like being away from him. Of course that hurts you and the relationship. For some people the distance doesnt matter, for others it brings them closer. And for others again, or most I will guess, its a test of patience. Yours might be running out, and this is straining on your relationship with him. He on the other hand, might just be more cut out for this type of relationship. There is nothing wrong with that, and doesn't mean you love him less. Just means that you can't go on like this for much longer.
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