A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I've been dealing with feeling really depressed over the fact that I'm living a lonely life. The only reason why I think that I'm important and at least "different" Is that my family is wealthy and I can buy things people can't afford, I know that's a very sick thinking but that's the only thing that's making me feel good and special after the breakup since my self confidence is 0.Since getting into college, I've had no friends, I tried to socialize more, but I either don't get along with them or I simply try to ask them to hang out but they refuse to and tell me that they are busy while I know they are not, this made me really rejected, thinking that I'm just not that interesting and boring, so I literally just stopped socializing and gave all my focus to college. I didn't feel bad about it later since I achieved good grades and it made me happy and not too lonely since I had all my focus on college. Right now I'm doing my masters degree, and I'm just feeling too depressed after the break up of my very FIRST boyfriend. I've never dated or had a boyfriend before, I've always preferred serious relationships, and 1 year ago I met this man and he was everything I could dream of, charming, respectful and smart. After those 2 months he became verbally abusive and manipulating, I don't know how I was fool and naive enough to tolerate him for 1 year, I changed all my future plans for him and promised him to help him financially, I tolerated his lies, his empty promises for a year thinking he'll become a better person as he promised but I got fed up and broke up with him. His words were razor sharp when I found out that he's cheating, he said that I wasn't good enough or satisfying him as he wanted, that I was a cheap woman, he spit on my face and ruined the gift I got him for his birthday in front of my eyes. It was heartbreaking and I felt sick to my stomach for being a fool. Until now, he's begging me to forgive him, It's been 2 months and my insecurity has never been that bad, I feel lonely and that I'm not worthy of love or that someone really finds me interesting or is going to take me serious. How do I get over this?
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (12 April 2020):
 As honeypie said block this douche, he sounds like an asshole, be glad he’s out of your life!
Again as mentioned, money doesn’t improve your mental state if you’re in a bad place! So don’t value it too much, sure it makes you more free to do things in life but it’s not the be all and end all.
Why don’t you try signing up to clubs or events that you have interests in? That way you can meet like minded people that you will share some common ground with? Maybe try online dating but ONLY when you are ready for it! Which doesn’t sound just yet whilst you’re dealing with these unresolved emotions.
Just let it all out, if you need to cry and scream then do so! Get rid of it, it will make you feel better. Don’t try to hold it in as it will only linger for longer and make you feel worse in the long run. Just keep as busy as possible and your mind occupied so you’re not dwelling on the negative feelings.
Why not sign up to your own account here to help people? I came on here years ago looking for help and was so grateful for what I received i decided to stick around and try to help as many people as I can, it’s a great way of passing time and makes you feel good that you could potentially help someone out.
Best of luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2020): Hi
Please recognize that you are probably feeling like this because you have been abused over a long period of time
(even unknowingly). People like him do not suddenly turn into a hateful monster, he will have been chipping at your self-esteem for a long time and gaslighting you, but you probably have not been aware of this (just what I feel about you).
When things like this happen, we analyze every motive every slight that has ever happened to us, because we are trying to understand why we are disliked, as this is what is drilled into you. Well, it's not you and although your only self-esteem at the moment is having come from a wealthy background, maybe that's a good thing because it is just keeping your head above water. You know that wealth has no real grounding for anything of real value like love, family and health.
He spat in your face that is assault and just shows how low he is. I hope you never ever give him the time of day, he is not worth one minute of your time. You speak like somebody who has NO choices in life so have to consider taking him back. This is when you would become the fool.
Use your smart head and wealth to rebuild your self-esteem and find your 'spirit'. Remember that unique you, that innocent you, that person who deserves to be happy and loved or to give love. We love in many ways it's not only about receiving it, it's giving it to humanity in different ways.
When was the last time you forgot about material wealth or emotional problems and sat in nature, soaked up its true beauty, you can find some peace in this place, away from all the inner chatter? Have you ever sat near the sea and just listened sending all your problems out on the waves.
I once or twice or maybe many times had a broken heart and I would put all my woes and bad memories into a little bottle and send it out to sea and say goodbye. I always felt refreshed and renewed ready for the next broken heart, it's all part of life and it's how you bounce back from it that matters not going over and over questions like why they did it. It does not matter, it matters that you let go, learn, rebuild and know you have a beautiful strong spirit that can overcome many things. Move forward not backward.
Good luck and stay safe...please 'choose' well.
G. bless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2020): There is plenty written and said on the net about narcissists and you can gain insight and understanding from looking at the commonality of these kinds of relationships.
The feeling inside of you takes time to subside or change into a more comfortable sense of self.
You have much going for you and the intelligence to apply yourself to whatever it is that you choose to do.
You could enrol on a course of Buddhism for example where you learn to meditate which is essential for stress busting.
If you are amongst a group of people and you are feeling uncomfortable it is ok to leave the group.
You don't have to force yourself to be sociable!
Different people have different attitudes.
It's clear to me that you have much to offer in life so please don't judge yourself by other people's unfriendliness!
And there is always the student counsellor to turn to.
They can't work miracles but they can help you to talk things over.
When you are on a low, the whole world can seem hostile.
Sometimes the world is hostile and yet, you still have to survive.
Getting antidepressants from a doctor can help. It is probably unlikely to impact on your career or your ability to buy a house but it will help to create a chemical change in your brain which creates the equivalent of happiness.
There have been times when some of my happiest moments were carved out of sadness.
Because life isn't all tidy and glamourous, a lot of life is about just getting on with the nitty gritty business of living.
I assume everyone else has similar experiences because they certainly don't reflect the media generated idea of happiness.
For example a baby crying can be seen as a happy sound because the child is alive and well and wants something, but media would have you believe it is an anxious sound.
So in a way it is natural to feel low when someone has done there best to p*** you off!
But you have to self justify yourself as to why you should have a better life and in your case the answer is simple.
You don't want to treat people badly so presumably you need a partner who feels the same way,not someone who is potentially jealous of you!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 April 2020):
 First off, CUT all contact with this ex.
He isn't a good person. You don't NEED him in your life.
Secondly, having money doesn't MAKE you special. 1. it's your parent's money 2. money really and truly can't buy people or happiness. It's good to have, don't get me wrong. But you need need to let go of the "I have money, that is my "worth" mentality.Maybe having rich parents worked in HS to impress people but in life (in general) it's really not that impressive. Your WORTH as a person is about YOU, not what you have. You personality, kindness, friendliness, helpfulness, you sense of humor, your determination, your "get up and go", your creativity... ETC.
Making friends in college can be hard for some because they try too hard to fit in, like in HS, by college people probably want to hang out with others they have something in common with, rather than just someone they grew up with.
So maybe look at yourself, what do you enjoy (outside of your course) like hobbies etc. and maybe join some groups where you will meet others who are into this.
As for guys, I think UNTIL you find out WHAT you have to offer (not money but you as a person) and WHAT you want in a partner, don't try and date.
And set yourself some standards for HOW you will treat other and BE treated. You say your ex showed you 2 months in HOW "ugly" his personality was and you STAYED another 10 months. Don't DO that to yourself! Someone becomes verbally abusive? He's FIRED!
If you have time on your hand, go to YouTube and look up Matthew Hussey. He has to great videos talking about relationship and self improvement.
And LASTLY, forgive yourself for having dated a total asshat. Sometimes you WILL make mistakes in life. LEARN from them, so you don't repeat them. HE was a mistake. Do better next time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2020): You dated a narcissist and his ultimate intention was to belittle you and make you feel worthless.
He did this by raising your hopes into thinking he was a nice person and then claiming the power of his dick to pick and choose a different vagina!
No, he wasn't a nice person but that doesn't mean you arent.
Check out all the info on narcissist on you tube etc.
And avoid them next time.
As for the money:well be in your guard for gold diggers!
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