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I feel like the relationship isnt fun anymore

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi. Ive been with my girlfriend for 6months, it started off well, but im not so sure now.

She has just turned 17 and i am 20. There are qualities i like about her that are different to my ex, but other qualities im not so keen on.

I feel like the relationship isnt fun anymore, theres no laughter, just routine and i feel abit like i want to be single again.

I find it hard to let go though because i like being in a relationship and im scared that if i break up with her, she will find someone soon, because she is very attractive.

View related questions: my ex

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A female reader, lyd_foster United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2008):

lyd_foster agony auntThere are a few options that you have

if you feel like things are fading and you want to move on then you should because there is no point in dragging things on. It will make things worse

However you could stick too it and try and make things work

go out together more.

The best thing too do is ask her what she feels like and what she wants to do

=]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

That is selfish of you. You want the excitement of being single, yet you don't break it off because you know she'll move on & get someone else. I'd say do her a favor & break it off with her. She's only a kid, so I doubt this relationship would last forever anyways.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

I wouldn't give up on this relationship if it's got into a routine then you can change that, start doing more things together, don't sit at home everynight (I'm not saying you do) but thats what it seems like, start going to the pictures and going for walks or whatever you both like doing, she a bit younger than you so relationships may be new to her and you should show her how she deserves to be treated. If the relationship has realy run it's course and your not happy let go, the fact that she is attractive and can get somebody else is not a reason to stay with somebody but you obviously like her if your thinking like this. Good Luck.

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (10 April 2008):

O Connor agony auntok so you have only been together 6 months and already the novelty has worn off? strange as that may be to me, its not my relationship so i dont know what your going through. however, if you find that you have slumped into a routine that doesnt change, then i suggest YOU change that. dont give up on something that may be fixed easily. try new things, go to new places, meet new ppl that the 2 of you get along with. im sure this is something that can be passed, but if this problem is still here in another 6 months - thats wen i would consider the fact that your just not meant to be. im wondering could it be that she is younger than you and your interests and activities arent the same? think about whether or not you actually want to put some work in, because if you dont, then this problem is just an excuse to cover up the fact that you dont want to be with her. also you cant stay with someone just because you are scared that they will find someone else before you do. good luck xxx email me if you want

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A female reader, indie girl United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2008):

This is a tricky one... If you love her then i'd stay with her, love doesn't just happen and maybe you were ment to be with each other. Relationships have there ups and downs, i think right now you're on a downer. Have you tried going out together somewhere new? Experimenting in bed (if you actually have sex)? Going to a theme park or somewhere fun and exciting? If the answers no then please don't give up on this relationship, i've had similar problems and they always seem to sort themselves out. If it's just having sex with someone else that interests you then why don't you introduce some sort of "swinging". I suggest if you're going to do that you should find a similar couple to share your expiriences with. Good luck (: x

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A male reader, MattyUK United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2008):

i know exactly where you're coming from.

i guess if you broke up with her, you'd still want to be friends but that in itself has drawbacks.

I know you feel protective over her so you dont want to see anyone else move in on your 'territory' but youve got to decide what is best for you, and her in the long run

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

This boils down to you having 2 choices - you either want to be with her or you don't.

You can't be single again and still see her, unless she's willing to be one of these friends with benefits that I hear so much about these days. It's pretty much inevitable that she'll find someone else, just as you would, if you went your separate ways.

Most of us like being in relationships - it's a kind of built-in thing with us humans and is probably why God made two sexes instead of just the one. Ask any slug or snail if it's fun having sex with yourself and then giving birth. Having said that, it can't be all that bad judging by the devastation in my vegetable patch.

If you don't want to be with her then best to break it off sooner rather than later. Less heartache that way. If you REALLY wanted to break up with her you wouldn't be the slightest bit bothered what she did with her life after you and you'd be glad to see the back of her. My first wife is a very good example of this ideology. I just knew that I'd find happiness again once I'd put her behind me and started afresh with my life.

However, if you really want to stay with her, and I suspect you do, perhaps those little things that irritate you about her, the lack of excitement etc. can be addressed and put right. All you have to do is talk about what you see as areas for improvement - and no doubt she'll have a few ideas on that front too so be prepared for some home truths!

Anyway, all the best and good luck whatever you decide to do.

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