A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I've been chatting online to a guy for the past 3 months casually enough but then we decided to have our first date, that's about 6 weeks ago now and we're now on date 14. I'm a very shy and insecure person so this is a massive step for me. He seems really nice and I'm starting to really like him but he's very closed off and hard to read and he told me very briefly he'd been in a long term relationship and she broke it off with him which I was fine about. However he told me tonight that if they had of been together still he'd have been getting engaged this weekend.... It's my fault that he told me because I asked him to open up to me more but now I can't help but feel he's thinking about her and regretting that she finished with him and I know I am but feel quite like the rebound now....he wanted to marry this girl, will I ever feel good enough????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (29 March 2016):
 It sounds like he is not fully over his ex at the moment, however you have been both talking for three months so therefore they must be broken up for a while now. He opened up to you and you didn't like it, which is understandable. Yes at one time he may have wanted to marry this girl, when we are in a relationship these thoughts do happen, but that relationship is over now and he is moving on. Ask him straight out if he still has feelings for his ex and see what he has to say, tell him you are worried that you are not good enough, allow him to reassure you that you are.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 March 2016):
 There's really no reason to ask, "...will I ever feel good enough???...." because that's not germane to the issue.
The REAL issue is that this guy continues to carry the torch for his ex-.... so he really isn't available to you - or any other woman - for dating/romance, until and unless he puts his ex- behind him....
Don't beat yourself up over this. Just stay away and let nature take its course...
Good luck..
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