A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for three years now and I'm 24, my wife 26. before we got married we knew each other a year, things were slightly rocky with some of my friends right before i met her, i guess i just have been very loyal to people when they still don't seem to give it back.My dilemma is that it seems that with my old friends and even in some of my new friends my wife keeps having conflicts with people. When I'm alone with her she'll bad mouth my friends, and when I'm with my friends they'll bad mouth her. When I'm with both it seems everybody wants me to defend them. At times i feel guilty because I've never really stuck up for her because i can't figure out how she keeps getting into situations where people are always unfair to her. My parents think it's "weird" that she has this problem with every single one of my friends. But at the same time, my older friends from before her have said some really nasty things about her, the new friends not so much. Is there a way i can not appear to be completely submissive/love blind just because i defend her? On the other end of that, is there a way i can defend my friends without getting into huge fights with her because she feels she doesn't get defended?Why am i never in a situation where i can defend her from someone that's not close to me? Could that be because she has a problem with me having anyone else in my life? If i have so much charisma and so many social urges, it seems if that were the case it's going to be a never-ending battle for her, and i don't know why she wouldn't want to try harder to get along with people that are going to be around. At the same time, it feels like my friends should be trying harder to get along with her as well. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Every time there's an instance of this type of conflict, I'm left not knowing where to point the finger, and always left looking like an jerk to someone. Is this common of young marriages? I'm lonely with so few friends but i want my wife to feel protected. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, esepalo1 +, writes (12 December 2007):
 You know what dude ive been there my wife would always get mad at me because i used to let people degrade her talk bad about her and i never did nothing but agree with them till one day it dawned on me man as a HUSBAND it my duty to defend her at any cost because im her HUSBAND and its my roll as HUSBAND to do so and every one around you should respect that and except that even if she acts like a witch at times look at it this way you sleep with your WIFE you have sex with your WIFE when times get rough the closest shoulder is your WIFE till she sees that you got her back conflict will always arise she needs to know that she can depend on you no matter what you need to stick up[ for her that will show you love her no matter what friends will come and go hopefully your wife will stick it out threw all the nonsense.I got veryt little friends do to it but you knopw what you dont respect my WIFE you dont respect me and im fine with it because my best friend and only friend i can rely on if my WIFE.PS inlaws are the hardest they never fully except the person your with.
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