A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im scaried of losing her even though shes told me "she loves me". I believe that she loves me. I think i have a number of annoying things about my personality and i can't shake the feeling im not good enough for my girlfriend and that she will leave me in the end. I try to please her any way possible. I have low self esteem. I would like her to quit smoking and i annoy her by saying it. I'm not the best looking person in the world. I feel that she could do better than me but, i love her so much i would never consider leaving her as it would break my heart. Is this feeling normal?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers they have all been a huge help. I know its sounds stupid. I even know i shouldn't feel this way. I think reading other people opinions has helped alot. Again many thanks.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (29 January 2007):
 Right, you are going out with a girl, you love her, and she loves you, so whats the problem?.
I think you are thinking things that are not even there. If your going round thinking she is going to leave you, or you are not good enough, these sort of fellings can drive you insane with worry. If she had plans to leave you im sure she would have by now, and im sure you are more than good enough for her.
I think you need to work on your self esteem, try a hypnosis relaxation CD for confidence, it will boost your esteem, and make you feel fresh and revitalised.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Patient1  +, writes (29 January 2007):
 It's not your fault that you are insecure. It's easy for people who are not insecure to judge, but unless they've dealt with the helpless feeling of insecurity they will not be able to relate as well as someone who has. I have had my share of insecurities, believe me. My insecurities came from a mother who did not trust her husband (and I found out later in life why) and some of it came from cheating boyfiends (it's hard to trust people once they defy you). Insecurity is like an illness, it's like telling an alcoholic to just get over it and stop drinking. I'm sorry that you are suffering from insecurity but there are ways to supress it. First of all you have to realize that you are good enough for her or she wouldn't be going out with you in the first place, that alone should boost your confidence. 2nd of all women love to see a confident man, it makes us feel secure. If you love this woman try your best to let go of some of your insecurities or she will probably leave you for sure. I've been on both sides of the fence on this one and I know it's hard to overcome insecurity, but if you don't try your very best then your incsecurities will become AND remain a reality. We are all special in our own way so hold your head up high and don't let anyone take your sunshine away! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): dude WTF!!???? if you love her and she loves you i dont know why you are doing this to yourself. you do have VERY low self estem but you can fix that. talk to her ,tell her how you feel ,cause if she loves you she will understand and she will help you. the key is honesty. and if she can find some one better than you dont you think she would have dumped you alredy? just be happy that you do have some one to love ,a lot of people )like me) would like to have some one to love.
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