A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and i do love him we moved in together after only being together for 8 months we bought a car together and we have a cat and a guinea pig since we moved in together i feel as though our relationship has gone down hill and fast it seems like he doesn't really want to be around he doesn't seem to care about the things that i want and i don't feel like he's giving a real try or effort at our relationship and it breaks my heart but i know that i want to be happy no matter what and i can't figure out what i need to do and i' don't know what we would do about the car and out animal if the answer is to leave what should i do? should i leave him or should i give him another chance?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 I think you need to talk to him first. Tell him how your feeling. he cant even attempt to make it better if he doesnt know whats up!
If he doesnt really know what things matter to you, and hes just casaully binning them off, it might be that he doenst think your that seious about these thigns and doesnt realise its hurting you in this way.
I definately think you need to give him a chance. Discuss what you both want, your young and impressionable, maybe being a little to idealistic of how it should be. You may have allowed him to become lazy, men of any age will try to get away with minimum effort they can, and rely on the woman to be the glue. I think its more he doesnt realise that these things are important to you, if he doesnt know that, to him they will just blow over his head.
Have a chat and see what you BOTH want and where you BOTH want to head for the future. Nothing happens over night and maybe your wanting things to happen to quickly and hes overwhelmed by it. Let things take a natural progression, rather than a pressured one. But let him know about the issues that are important to you.
Many couples when they live together take advantage of each other and the effort seems to die down. Many men just go with the flow and have a more laid back attitude. He probably does listen to you and takes it on board but if its not directly affecting him he might not feel he has to do anything.
Every couple needs time to move and breathe and also do things together. Maybe take more time to get out together rather than the mundane play house type thing, thats what could be boring to him, the playing house, try and vary it, make it fun and do things that you BOTH want. Have more of a an adventure together rather than just living together.
Take care and Good luck! x x
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