A
female
age
36-40,
*ovesocks89
writes:HII have been dating a guy for 6 months, he had to find new accommodation quickly and I stepped in and said that he could move in with me, (1 and half months ago)However I am now beginning to feel really frustrated, miserable and angry a lot. I feel like we have gone from having a fun care free relationship to a serious scenario over night. He spent hours telling me how much he loved me, how amazing I was, how much he missed me, texting me poems and sending me romantic quotes. Prior to him moving in we saw each other 3/4 times a week. I just can't handle the change in how he is with me.We have had several rows now, which I know is normal, but its left me feeling upset, and I feel I have no one to talk to, as well as being frustrated.I have also found myself getting frequently sexually frustrated as we don't have sex everyday.My head feels in a jumbled up mess. I just keep catastrophising, being grumpy and he says that I am moaning at at him.Is the only solution to ask him to move out again? He believe he keeps getting fed up with me and bored of going over the same feelings that I have above. I feel like our relationship has been killed by moving in together.Any suggestions as to how I can get things back in place?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2018): Yes, of course living together is killing it. It's way too soon to be this serious or living like a married couple. Why would you want to kill the best part of a relationship, the honeymoon phase? Many couples would kill for that. Want to stop the predictable end of your relationship? Stop living together and start dating again. And don't talk serious for awhile. IF you get there.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 October 2018):
 Possibly because you moved in being complete strangers.
Living together after 4.5 months? That’s crazy. Him saying he loves you after the same amount of time? HUGE red flag.
This relationship just sounds like a train wreck in all honesty. Moved WAY too quick, he’s too full on and he moves in with you expecting him to be a sex machine. Some people have lower sex drives, I’m only 26 and don’t even feel like it for full weeks at some points. You cant expect people to just want to have sex all the time, it doesn’t work like that. People have different needs and yours clearly don’t align.
You’ve lived together now, you know what you’re going to be like together in your own house and it doesn’t sound great does it? I think you’re a bad match for each other, it’s easy to go on nice dates and then back to your own space afterwards but living together is a whole new beast.
I think you’re wasting your time pursuing this one, if he moves out then to progress the relationship you’re inevitably going to have to move back in together at some point and why would it be different a second time? I’d ask him to move out, break up and move on. This ones not meant to be.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (18 October 2018):
 Yep time to move out. Tell him you miss what you had and feel its all moved that bit too fast. Wanting to save what you have is not a bad thing so hopefully he can see why its best for him to leave and find his own place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2018): You want sex everyday; and if he can't perform like a battery-operated sex-toy you're frustrated.
He hasn't changed. You have. You miss your independence; and if the place isn't very large, you probably feel crowded. I would also suggest that you moved him in too quickly after you both met; and you really didn't give yourself time to get better acquainted, evaluate his temperament, and test the consistency of his behavior. So all that is going-on right-now; and maybe you're a bit overwhelmed.
You've had a lot of arguments. What were they about? I would guess you're feeling grumpy; because you thought you could be all-over him night and day. That he would constantly profess his love 24/7. Turns out, he's human after-all.
You can give him 90-days notice; but meanwhile, try and see if you can cut-down on the arguments. Compromise on sex.
The 90-day trial-period will give you more time to get used to having a housemate; and your sex-drives can synchronize a little better. There's a period of adjustment between people psychologically, and physically. Once you both understand more about each other's needs; and get used to your differences, things may smooth-out.
It's one thing if you told us that he was a liar, or he's mistreating you; but if you're just sexually-frustrated, and can't control his body and penis like a mechanical-device at your beck and call. Let him move-out.
You need to work on yourself. You moved him in too soon anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2018): Is that why you're pissed off because he doesn't have sex on demand every day and you let him move in thinking you would...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 October 2018):
 Yes, you ask him to move out.
It's not the end of it per se, but you BOTH got a taste of what living with each other is and it wasn't good.
And no, OP it's NOT "normal" that when people move in together they start fighting.
It might be more "normal" to happen when people you move in together TOO SOON, because they REALLY don't know each other that well. You were BOTH on your best behavior prior to moving in, after moving in, he no longer thinks need needs to put in an effort you you seem to think that he now should be able to read your mind and deliver sex on demand.
OP, come on.
Yeah, he is being honest with you when he says he is getting fed up with having to talk about YOUR feeling over a the SAME subject OVER and OVER. Imagine he wanted to talk about a football game (some World series game perhaps) and go over play by play OVER and OVER... you would get fed up too! It's kind of the same here (for him)
If you could manage NOT being sexually frustrated when seeing him 3/4 times a week... it's a little over-dramatic to claim that now you are living together you NEED to have sex EVERY day or you will get frustrated.
But in short, tell him you think you two jumped the gun on moving in together, so he can find a new place. Whether you want to still date each other after he moves out, that is up to the two of you.
But remember you can't rewind the clock. You now know what he is like UP CLOSE and personal and vice verse. And it might be that NEITHER of you are a good fit long term.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2018): You moved in together too quick and now you resent him. Whether this is because you're simply incompatible or you feel you went into something you felt was too soon is hard to tell.
But if you're arguing a lot he isn't going to be up to having sex today and maybe he wouldn't want it every day even if it was all hearts and flowers,that could be his sex drive.
As I see it he needs to move out and if you still want to be together you go back to dating and move in WHEN it feels right, if it ever does.
Good luck
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