A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 13 , recently i became friends with *J*. A guy who i ha been friends with in the past but he always dropped me for his other friends who dislike me . He apologized and seemed much nicer . All my other friends hated him and so they stopped being my friend . He then stopped being my friend and now the only friend who i hang out with outside of school is a total nerd with no social life at all. i feel like my social life has been ruined by *J* . I have gone from being "master of the social game" to practically a loner. To add to all this i feel ready for dating, i go to an all boys school and so i don't know any girls . The only girls i see are on the bus trip to school or walking around town. i want to speak to girls and get into relationships but i don't want to seem like a creep asking a random girl in the street for a date. don't even know what to say !!!please help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): One of the reasons for an all boys school is for you to do your work than concentrating on the girls in class, I bet. A lot of couples meet at university and at work when they are accomplished. How about the friends that left you, they must also hang around some girls. Your choosing of friends is your choice, you are having learning experiences of meeting lots of different people. Have you tried clubs like tennis, karate, pen pals in magazines?
A
female
reader, haley92  +, writes (16 August 2009):
well , he dropped u for his friends so i would drop him for your friends, in no time more people will see that u r cool again and will want to hang out with u.
try going to the mall or any after school hangouts. u will find a girl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): The only loser here is 'J'. Sounds like he was just hanging around with you when he was bored, or embarassed to be seen with you. Real friends wouldn't be, not even guys! You could apologise to your other friends and tell them you won't be hanging around with him anymore. Ask them around for a game on the xbox, or to watch the footy or something :)
I don't think it's good to see making friends as some kind of game, or to befriend them purely to expand your social circle for the wrong reasons. Only become friends with someone who you actually like and want to hang around with, and not because it'll look good to other people. Is this why you wanted to befriend 'J'?
As for girls... Join some afterschool clubs or join clubs out of school, in a community centre or something. If an opportunity arises where girls are involved, don't try to ask them out on a date within the first 5 minutes, be friendly with them and laid back.
Whatever you do, don't ask some random girl walking past you out on a date!
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