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*egz x-x
writes: I really need some help! I'm 15 and have a really low self esteem. Most of that due to my older sister who is 19. She smaller, slimmer and a lot prettier. She can flirt with anyone and I always get people saying to me "is THAT your sister?". I'm getting used to the fact that men always like her more. Until last weekend. I met his boy called Sam, he's a bit older than me but we spent ages talking about music and things and really hit it off.He was the first person in ages who I really thought liked me for me. But recently my sister has got wind that I have a potential boyfriend and has been really flirty with him whenever he comes over. She sits on his laps and cuddles him. And my friend was mucking about with his phone and told me that my sister has been sending him more texts than I have!I don't know what to do...I asked my mum about it, but she just told me that I'm being dramatic and that she's my sister and she wouldn't do that to me. My sister just laughs it off and says I shouldnt get so protetive....please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2006): I think you should confront your sister....that's what I'll do. What kind of sister would do that?! If she's s o pretty and flirty, tell her to back off and go find her own man. If your man wants you, thenn tell him to stop talking/flirting with your sister...
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):
 I know what you mean. I have a younger sister who is just 2 years younger and she is a HUGE FLIRT. I am more reserved. OK, back to you. I think you should kick Sam to the curb. No girl needs that...sister or no sister. Keep your head up. You are not going to live with your sister forever. Soon she'll have to find someone else to pick on. And if your sister doesn't love you enough to understand how much that hurts you, then it's better to avoid her. In the future, be more guarded with your beau's information. Meet him for a date away from your house. Don't give him your home phone #. Get a cell phone and put a password on it. Boys do not need to meet your family all the time, especially with someone like your sister in your family. Hopefully your sister will mature one of these days so you can trust her around you. But don't count on it. I'm 29 and my sis is 27. We still have issues which is why we only see each other on holidays and birthdays.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2005): I know how you feel - I had 2 older sisters to put up with, and both very pretty and flirty.I guess that you and Sam aren't actually going out, so you should try not to get too angry about what your sister is doing, but at the same time, she is not being very nice to you. She probably thinks it's just teasing, but it's inappropriate and isn't doing anything to increase your self esteem.Your mum has a nice view of things - but sisters DO do that to each other - my eldest sister stole my boyfriend when i was 13!It's not very good for Sam either, because if your sister is not interested in him as being her boyfriend but flirts with him a lot she may be giving him the wrong idea, so even though he might like you, she could be capable of changing his mind.You could try to have a chat with your sister about it again, and get her to stop being so flirty with him if she's not interested in him - explain to her that she's hurting you, but if you think she still won't change I would really recommend that you continue to enjoy your friendship with Sam, and meet him elsewhere - NOT at your house with your sister.Also, why does your sister have his phone number? Were they friends already? Did he give it to her? Ask yourself if you can trust HIM, not just your sister, if you can't trust him then he's not good enough for you, and you should wait for someone else.Remember too, that you have years and years of fun ahead of you through school/college/university and work, where you will not be second to your sister, you'll have heaps more self-esteem, and you'll meet heaps more boys/men that you like without your sister being there to distract their attention from you, so don't think it's the end of the world if things don't develop the way you want them to with Sam.Hope this helps, good luck with it, and take care.
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