A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am twenty years old and having trouble having an orgasm. I have really good sex and we try various different positions and I can feel it coming, but feel it leave just as quickly. It sort of passes me by and I don't experience it, really. I've tried masturbation but nothing seems to work.I do have a lot of emotional trouble, though. I have been seeing psychologists for about six years now. I was sexually molested when I was five years old and raped twice thereafter right up until now. I am seeking counselling still, but would like to have a normal life just like everyone else.How do I sort out my life as I'm afraid I'll never fully enjoy what it has to offer me, help.
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female
reader, Podge  +, writes (28 January 2009):
 if you feel it coming that is a good sign because at leats your body is comfortable with your lover and doesn't completely reject their advances. Dont worry i was exactly the same (except for nothing bad happend to me in my past) but then after 8 months or so it just happend. I heard somehwre to try and relax so maybe a massage before sex or try not to think about it too much just enjoy yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): You can visit http://www.rainn.org/http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/sex/abuse/sexual_abuse_7.aspI can relate to what you are saying, you have been in counseling for 6 years have they told you what rape does to your sexual mental health??? You can heal your mind my angel but your body has its own memory, its like putting your hand on a hot plate, your body will move your hand away all by itself you don’t have to think about pulling your hand away first, you body will react differently to your mind, your mind could understand that what happened to you wasn’t your fault it could understand that you need to let go, that you can give your rapist power over you, BUT it does not matter how young you were when you got raped your body remembers, your body remembers how it felt, the hurt the pain, and reacts to that when you come close to anything sexual, its like your mind and body is fighting, your mind can allow you t enjoy being with your man, being touched but your body will not allow it, your body is not ready yet, the way I was raped the position of my rapists hands on my body affected my sex life, even silly things he said like I love you while he was doing it I thought I was over it, but couldn’t orgasm, I saw a councilor who asked me to tell him about my rapist what he did what he said it was hard going back to that little girl who felt so alone and scared, that little girl who didn’t know what she did wrong to deserve this, but I had to, I now have a very open sex life with my boyfriend of 6 years, my body no longer associates his hands on my face or wrists as rape and I can fully enjoy myself and my man, rape is a terrible thing and it affects your life for ever, no matter how hard you try it will never go away, but the way your mind and body deals with it can be change, you just need to find your switch.I would love to hear more from you, I have picked up this habit to try and help any woman I meet who went through something similar and in a way it helps me heal, so please keep me updated.Good luck dear and may God send a million angels down to help you through this and help you find away to cut the chains that’s still binding you to that terrible experience. Please visit those sites.
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