A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dunno what the hell to do.Me and my friends girlfriend have liked eachother for well over a year now and no one knows. Wev spoken about it in the past and brushed it to one side because it would be to messy and we dont want to hurt anyone.Its now got out of control, we are absolutley madly in love with eachother we both dream of being with eachother and are so depressed that it can never happen. she has been with my friend for 6 years! people always comment on how close we are and how made for each other we would be. we always play it off by telling them to shut up and pretend we dont feel like that.the last month its really come to a head. wer always out in the same big group and a few weeks ago I wass out with her we were both drunk and we were flirting and just enjoying being with eachother and ended up holding hands in the taxi on the way home.Then last night we were all out and I gave everyone a lift home and she was the last stop. We ended up talking in my car for three hours about the situation and how we feel for eachother and trying to think of ways we could be together in the future without anyone getting hurt. but we couldnt think of anything. we ended up kissing and we both regret it so much. wev spoken about it all day and we know it was wrong.I really dont know wot to do if my friend found out it would break his heart. I feel rotten ive always prided myself on being a person with morals but obviousely iv been kidding myself and im a worthless friend.She has told me she has to finish with him soon cos she cant be with him feeling this guilty and obviousely she isnt in love with him anymore. I know if she breaks up with him he will be lost and I will know i am partly to blame for his heartache!She keeps on asking me if there could ever be hope for us getting together and I know thats what she is hoping for wen they break up, but that would kill my friend still and I will look like terrible in our neighbourhood as everyone knows us and I would never be able to show my face again. no one will understand that wev been pining for eachother for ages.I feel like moving away from all the friends ive known for 20 years and starting a life with her, but that is impossible due to our situations. I feel so terrible because il never be able to live a life with the girl i love and i feel so terrible for the guilt i feel because it is still my friends gf at the moment.Has anyone got any ideas of what i could do? has anyone been in this position. we even thought about giving it a few years after they break up and then ask him if he minded we got together, but he would and thats a bit unrealistic anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): You guys seem to be in love but that love is associated with distrust and lust. You two aren't little kids anymore so she will have to make a decision to dump the other guy or not. If she doesn't love him then it should be easy. Then you give her some time and space if she needs it. If you are both ready then hook up. There's no need for hot-headed actions like moving to another area.
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