A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:NOD NOTE: OP's own title:I'm basically stuck in the game called life. I'm 23 and I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. Basically my life is like an endless cycle of failure (on my part). After highschool I went to college, got stuck doing something I didn't like but finished it because otherwise it would be wasted time. University, second chance. I chose what I thought I wanted but now at the 3rd year I have lost all pleasure in what is supposed to become my job. The ethics clash severely with my own and I've been thinking for about half a year about whether to quit or keep going. If I keep going, I will be 25 when I get my diploma. Ofcourse I could start another study at that age but frankly, I'm kinda tired of starting over, spending money and then finding out after 2 years that it's not what I want. I know work isn't going to be nice all the time and I'm not expecting to be happy all the time, but I don't want to do things that clash with my moral code. I still live with my parents (getting an apartment or a student room is pretty much impossible with the sky high rent and the few available spots) and I can't find work with the current crisis going on, even though I try. To top it all off I'm still a virgin at my age. I was never into clubbing and I'm kinda hard to get when it comes to sex. I want to be certain a guy isn't just manipulating me to get what he wants. Anyway, most of them don't stick around because there are many girls who do give them what they want.Anyway, here I am. What to do? I don't want to be the eternal student who lives with her parents at age 30. I'm not so much asking for career advice (you'd have to be psychic) but what I can do to find a way out of this?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Yeah, I can't step on other people to get to the top, it's just not my style either. Even though I am competitive..Commission based jobs are never good, because you never know how you're going to make unless you're really that good in talking people into stuff they don't need or really don't have the $ for. Tourism industry is suffering from the economy..The reason I suggested Med was it's always hiring and still thriving even through this economy. I can't tell you how many people I know that graduated in 08-10 that either don't have a job or they've got one but not using their degree. I'm really glad I made you feel better, chin up!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers!
@Cerberus/Raphael: I get what you're saying about moral codes. But the thing about the job I'm studying for is it's pretty much about using other people to get ahead. The goal is basically to make money by taking advantage of others. This is acceptable for a lot of people, but not for me. To illustrate my point:
I used to have this job in tourism and all it was about was manipulating people to get them to spend the greatest amount of money possible. Everyone was assigned targets, which meant I had to sell trips to get at a specific amount of money that was set for me. There was a commission, so I was required to sell from specific organisations because that would make us the most money, even though it wasn't the best choice for the costumer. There was a top 5 and colleagues were constantly competing. Suffice to say I didn't meet the standard set for me, so I got fired.
@Tennisstar88: Thank you for your advice! It makes me feel so much better. It's just that I've been wasting so much time and I will never get it back. But you're right, it's better to look on the bright side. I will look into the med field. I never considered that before, so I'm going to check it out.
Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 September 2010):
Life makes you jump over several obstacles, I had to move out 3 times, start college put it on hold to move to the south, get engaged, break it off, move back to the midwest because of the economy, be jobless for 4 months, endless dating, and partying to finally get where I am now. I'm 25, married, I've changed my major twice, and next spring I'm finally going back to school for free, however I have no student loans thank god. Most people I know are up to their eyeballs in debt with those loans. Things will turn around once you have cleared all those hurdles, the key is to have a positive attitude to take on life than rather it work against you. Finish with a degree you can use in this economy because there's nothing worse than graduating with a bachelor's and not being able to use it. That would be $ well wasted...you can finish school at any age there's no age limit. Living with your parents so what, you have next to no bills, you get a home cooked meal every night, and your laundry done daily. Let me tell you moving out blows, when half you paycheck goes to bills and groceries it's like what's the point. I'm not saying stay in the nest till 30, but hold out and save out money while you still can because it's expensive. You're a virgin, well there's many of girls who wish they would've waited then there's that select few that are married to their first time. I see it as a good thing, you're not tainted your pure in fact you should get more guys because of that, but then again it helps you weed out the bad ones who's just trying to get their dingy wet. I would step back look at your life now and write out what you want and how to achieve it. Many people still can't find jobs to get us by, so look at school. Really find out what you want to do or what will make you the money in the shortest amount of time. Go with the med field..dental assistants and hygienists as a single female you can make bank, it's only a 2 year program and place after you graduate. I know I sound cliche in the beginning but I've been there, feeling like a complete failure at and that I have zero going for me. Gotta change the way you think and get a game plan, at least a rough draft. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Eventually in life, there will always be obstacles that challenge one's moral codes. Do not give up simply because they do. You do not need to turn away from such obstacles but embrace them! Accept that these things exist in life and there is no way to completely avoid them.
I have a strict moral code, it compels me to believe that all the choices I make and all the choices everyone around me makes, are leading somewhere, I see no evil and I see no good, what I see are students learning from the world. It doesn't stop me from hating the ignorant and prejudiced, simply because I despise their choices. It is what it is. Murderers make a CHOICE, racists make a CHOICE, they all choose to be ignorant.
Do not be ignorant. Moral codes can change, especially when you are growing and you decide what you truly think is wrong or right.
I hope that helps.
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