A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, Where do I stand?My partner and I have been dating for just over 4 months but it seems now that I am always chasing her.I see no future unless she lets me into all aspects of her life.Her parents have decided to move abroad and they only decided to tell her a month and a half ago.They have already postponed it for a month so that she can come to terms with it. The thing is she still goes out with her friends to bars, yet tells me that she is depressed. It is very difficult for me to get hold of her on the phone, for example she doesn't pick up my calls or rejects them, or sends back replies to text messages hours after. Sometimes it seems she only gets in touch when she wants to have sex. The sex is great. I have told her that I will give her space to which she says that she likes that I try to keep calling her. I feel like I'm being used. Sometimes I feel as though there might be someone else that she visits. However, we both have declared our love for each other and it seems that she doesn't mean it anymore. I am a patient man but this is difficult. I just want to understand what is going on and where I stand.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): As much as I hate it, sometimes you need to play games if the woman is doing it (whether she realizes she is or not). She might like the chase you give her, but if she really likes you, she will miss it even more. You may need to tone down your interest level (at least what she sees of it). Don't be so eager, only give her small tastes of how great you can be and then give her a chance to miss it. Making her a little jealous isn't a bad thing either. I hate saying this stuff because i dont think it should be this way, but you may have to do it to win her over. You can do little things like mention in passing that some girl started talking to you in a store or something.
A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (24 January 2007):
 Hi there, I think personally that you're going to have to call time on this one. She appears to enjoy all the chasing after her that you do. It does sound as if she's not a happy person, that she's not at all sure what she wants unless she wants sex and she likes keeping you on a string but if you truely love her and want it to work then you are going to have to talk to her. Tell her unless she starts showing some effort then you're off. A relationship should be a two way thing and she's not pulling her weight at all. Its really down to you and how much you can take but if she's not prepared to change and you want to be really happy you have to call time on it. Good luck and take care.x
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