A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really not sure what to do anymore, i went on holiday with 3 other girls 2 of which i haven't known that well. but i get on like a house on fire with 1 of them even tho we haven't been friends that long, for this i'll call her beth. the 2 that i've been friends with the least have been best friends for years, but 1 of them always doesnt think about anyones feelings, for this i'll call her lauren. so when on holiday i got rather drunk and me and lauren ended up having a massive argument, but i said something about beth saying things about lauren. which i shouldnt of done.the morning after was very awkward and i was almost gonna go home, but they convinced me not to. after a few days of it still being tense i spoke to beth about it and apologised sooo much and told her my reasons and we sorted it out. on the last night me and lauren also sorted it out. but when we got back home they wont talk to me and beth says we're not as close anymore (even though we sorted it on holiday)and she says i betrayed her. this was 3 weeks ago and i keep trying to apologise and show her i'll never do it again even though what i did was less than what lauren has done in the past. i just dont get it, it werent even that bad and now ive lost her as a really good friend. worse of all is all my other friends who know them have kinda taken lauren's side because she acts all innocent, even though she really isn't. so they keep all meeting and dont invite me so i feel like an outcast. i have got more friends but i still feel like im being pushed away form this group of friends. i just want my friends back and for everything to go back to how it were. i have apologised over and over and nothing has seemed to work, but when i do speak to beth its like nothing ever happened, i think the main reason why we dont hang out anymore is lauren. what can i do, i know i was stupid for starting the argument so please don't go on at me about that, advice would be apprecited x Question 2: I think i have a jealously issue, i just can't help myself, my personality is quite obsessive and also very strong willed. i think that in friendship people should act a certain way, as in don't try it on with ur friends boyfriends or crushes. i would never dream of doing that to my friend so i don't expect it the other way round. i have had a few friends who have not considered my feelings with anything they do and it drives me up the wall, so i end up saying something about it and it usually ends up in a argument. after it i'm fine with not having them as friends because i dont want people like that around me where i have to watch what i say and do just incase they do something behind my back. but its the other friends that suffer that kinda upsets me, 1 example is recently i had 2 friends who had been friends for years, 1 of which i was very close with the other not so much. then the 1 i werent so close with acted up alol the time we went out and it really got to me and the other girl. but we ended up having an argument and now thats effected me and the friend who i was really close to because she chose her over me even though she was not happy with the others behaviour. i just don't get it, i always help her with things and try my hardest to be the bestest friend i can be and after 1 little argument i get outcasted. i'm not sure why i start arguments mayb it is that im jealous, and that as she can do whatever she wants regardless of others feelings and get away with it without any1 saying anything that mayb i wana be like that or sumat. im just so confused how my other friend can pick her over me, it makes me think its my fault and that im a bad friend and it really knocks my confidence. what do you think of this? is it just me? x[Moderator's note: 2 posts from the same user were combined into one]
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best friend, confidence, crush, drunk, jealous, on holiday Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 August 2009):
 Wow you really need to chill out a tad. You have some very major esteem issues you have to deal with before you can be friends with anybody. There are all kinds of self-esteem books and articles available online but perhaps a therepist would be the best way to start. Once you have restored some of your self-esteem you will like yourself much more and that in turn will cause you to lose the jealousy and your need to control. Be a friend to yourself first. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery.
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