A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and for the most part I think we've been pretty happy. I plan on moving out with him most likely within the next year, but I'm living with my parents right now and it's causing a lot of tension between me and my boyfriend.He is caucasian and atheist, and I'm chinese and my mom is a devout Catholic. My parents are very much against me sleeping over at his house, as in they don't know I've ever done it. I think I should respect their wishes while I'm living under their roof but my boyfriend argues with me a lot on this, saying it's ridiculous that we've been dating for two years and I can't even sleep over. I don't know who is right here, or even if anyone can be right. I can't make everyone happy, what should I do?
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (26 August 2012):
 What is it YOU want? Having the answer to that question will help you decide what to do. That doesn't mean you have to rush out and do it and to hell with everyone else, but it will give you a good starting point.Your boyfriend is understandably anxious to move forward. He's not wrong for wanting that, but it sounds like he's exerting a bit too much pressure. Your parents, on the other hand, have valid concerns. They don't want you to toss aside everything that was important to you to please some man. And they don't want you to have life long consequences from something that may be short term. It's worth mentioning that some caucasian men like Asian women because the latter have a reputation for being domestic and obedient. The affection is usually genuine but that appeal is part of the package. This may or may not be the case in your situation, but if it is, being aware of it may give you ideas on how to proceed that you might not have considered before.I assume, at this point, you see this relationship as a long term thing. Even if you don't, the longer you're with him, especially if you live together, the greater the chance of an unplanned pregnancy, which opens up a big can of worms.Does your boyfriend have any objections to you raising your children as Catholics? If he does, you do know your parents will try to anyway, right? That will make for some rather uncomfortable family dinners. Personally, I'm not a big fan of mixed marriages. Those cultural differences that seemed so exotic and exciting when you were dating can become a huge problem when you're trying to build a life and raise a family together. Some work out. Those that don't are a nighmare.Anyway, like I said earlier, figure out what you want first and then you can decide where to go from there.
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