A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that my BF of 6 months that lives with me cheated. I found messages on his phone that said 'I wouldn't have kissed you, if I didn't think you were attractive' and a few other random things..I confronted him about this and he alleges all it was, was just a drunken kiss at the end of a night out. And that the messages were nothing but him living out a stupid fantasy that he would have never acted upon.After me kicking him out, he came back the next day to talk, and was in tears and telling me how sorry he was and that he loves me, and that I'm his perfect girl etc..I don't know what to do. He genuinely seemed remorseful, but the thing is it happend about a month ago, and he has been in txt contact with this girl the whole time. So if he was sorry, why would he do that? Where is his guilt?I feel like I should give him another chance. If not for him, for myself. I'm absolutely in love with this guy, and if there is a chance this could work out, I don't want to just throw it away. But I'm really not sure if I could ever build the trust that I had for him back up.I'm so confused as to what I should do right now..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Sounds like hes been keeping his options open if hes still in contact with this other girl. If you turn your back on him and say no, no more you cheated then he always has her to run back to. That is my opinion, im speaking from my experience where my ex b/f did the same, i took him back and he did it again.That is my ex tho not u'rs so im not saying u'rs will do the same.
Its a tough decision hunni, u can give him another chance and it may work out to be a good choice, we all do things we regret, and if he does it again you can say i gave u a second chance and this time you blew it for good and walk away and get some one who deserves you.
good luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): To be quite honest with you I would seriously consider giving your relationship another go. You don’t actually know that he has slept with this girl and as far as the text messaging goes all it implies is either harmless text flirting or maybe a snog. I know this is still unacceptable but your still in the prime of your relationship; you have only been going out 6 months. In the first months of my relationship I cheated on my partner and had a drunken snog, he found out and we nearly split up and like you he thought he would never trust me completely but because we loved each other he couldn’t not allow the mistake and give us a other chance, we have been together 2 years and recently got engaged. I think you both obviously love each other as he wouldn’t have come round crying and saying he needs you and you wouldn’t be asking for advice on here.
Talk to him about whats actually happened, explain how you feel and that you want to give it another go, but he has to be %100 honest about everything and after the scare of loosing you I am sure he will be, just try and trust again and don’t make it too hard as that also can add strain off its own to the relationship. Good Luck………
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Ask yourself, do i trust him? Do i think he would cheat? IF you have to think about the answer to the questions if there are any doubts in yourmind leave him without trust there is no love doubting him isnt a good sign, and talk to him about the other girl if he doesnt delete her number straight away or tells you reasons why he should stay in contact with her give him an ultimatum her or you, he says he loves you make him prove it, it maybe a harsh way to do it but you gotta know, if its a good friend of his get to know her like the saying goes "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" she bothers you so find away for your boyfriend to leave her alone like setting her up on a date or just have a chat with her tell her how you feel.
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