A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't like myself most of the time. I have been feeling a lot better recently, but then I'm reminded of when I was a child and I deal with anger and other negative emotions and it's overwhelming. I cut off all ties with my mom and I don't intend to bring her back into my life. My mom used me my entire life, treated me like trash, was never there for me, and pretty much hated me and would tell me as much as she could. I feel like I have to put on a happy front all of the time and act as if nothing is ever wrong with me. I feel so tired of being myself basically. I need to change, but I'm truly scared of expressing myself as I feel and being more assertive. Has anyone felt like this before? If you did, what did you do to be a better person? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Beautifulboy +, writes (10 November 2012):
op quit being scared of rejection by acting like somebody your not to get people to like you.. and if you need motivation to prove acting like something your not is horrible to do, then think about your first love, or your ex bf, or your current bf that is about to leave you because he knows your in hiding.. hiding who you truely are. i have no idea of your past but i know for a fact that if you have lost love with a guy or have lost a bf its because you were hiding who u really are and acting like something your not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much and thank you for sharing :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): I have been, and sometimes am, in a similar situation to you in terms of last family issues bringing up feelings and I just push them away and put on the happy face. Firstly, do not feel you have to "be a better person" you are already a good person and do not need to be better, you just need to allow you to be you.
I have dealt with it by reminding myself of all that is good in my life now, I cannot change the past but I sure can change today and tomorrow. We all deserve happiness so I tell myself I am strong enough to say "No" if I am asked to do something that doesn't benefit me, I always used to bend over backwards and never consider myself. I always run through reasons I have to smile and be grateful and focus on keeping those reasons in my life then I am not having to put on a happy face be because I have reason to truly be happy.
It is a terrible time to have to cut your own mother out of your life and society makes people feel guilty as family is perceived as being there through thick and thin but this is ever increasingly not the case for people. Have no fear of removing what is bad out of your life, a dear friend of mine (who is 15-20years older than me) cut all contact with her own mother as soon as she turned 18. She says it felt terrible only because society expects family to have your best interests at heart but when your family doesn't why put up with it? She packed her bags and not only moved away but got on a ferry and left the country! She has lived a wonderful life and says being free from her mother made her all the happier.
You can live your life however you want it and I am sure you begin to be yourself just taking one day at a time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 Try to live in the moment - concentrate on what is going on in your life right now, not in the past. Each time you start to think about the past and your mother, shake your head as if to shake away the thoughts and go back to what is happening now. It takes time, but you will be able to let go eventually. Work out what things in life make you feel happy and the times when you feel contentment, and try to live your life for you, no one else. Be good to yourself, and you will be a better person. xx
...............................
A
female
reader, super-dolly  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 i have felt like this before. i was in an abusive relationship i was a college drop out and i always had to fake this smile infront of my friends.
then when i got my career and dumped my abusive boyfriend and met someone new i thought to myself hangon why should i fake this smile all day long why can't i just be myself i dont need people to like me i have whats important to me and those people will accept me.
you've ditched your mum who made u feel bad all you need to do now is start feeling good about urself focus on you and your needs and realise the fake happy will only be shallow until you learn to let people in you will only be miserable. the people in your life who you put on a front around will stand by you if u lash out or cry or get angry. because you are human and they are only worth being ur friends if they can accept you for it.
...............................
|
