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age
30-35,
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writes: Hey!I was just wondering what people suggest doing in a relationship in which they don't feel the feelings are even between the parties. I feel like I love my bf more than he loves me and I try harder than he does.I'm not really that bothered, but any suggestions on how to move forward from here?Thanks so much!-GG Reply to this Question
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female
reader, prettybizzar33  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 i know exactly how you feel..
I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 20.
He always tells me he loves me more than i could ever imagine.. and that we're gonna get married and that he never thought he could possibly love someone as much as he loves me... Because he's loved 3 girls before me and he said he's never felt the same way. Then i thought/asked him "ya, and how many of them did you tell that to?"
He told me i was the only one.
Our relationship is extremely confusing.
He can't tell anyone because its kind of illegal.
And his friends aren't very understanding.
We hangout all the time with his friends but they don't know we're dating.
I told him to suck it up and tell them.
But he really can't.
i met his whole family and they like me a lot..
But i don't know.
Somehow i feel like i love him so much more.
Maybe because i don't understand his side of the relationship.
But i feel like he doesn't show his feelings as well as he could.
But we ARE talking about boys here so that explains that.
anyways Don't be too worried.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months now.
We've got into only 1 serious argument
and other than that. we're super happy with our little secret because it kind of makes us what we are.
3
anywhoo.. don't be too worried love,
here's my advice...
1) If he's not making
any effort.
answer) Dump him.
2) If he is but not as much as you wish he would be.
answer) Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel.
3) If after all that he's not showing improvement...
answer) you've gotta go read number 1 again girl.
goodluck xx
A
female
reader, HelenaBala  +, writes (22 July 2009):
Honestly, please don't listen to people who claim that "guys have more trouble expressing their feelings than girls..." That's not completely true. If a guy loves you, he loves you. It doesn't matter if he's the machoest or most emotionally repressed of men, you will know he loves you. It is a hit or miss type of deal...take it from someone who "knows" (teehee).
In any case, all relationships are a bit unequal. You just have to make sure that you're not bending over backwards for this guy while he reaps the benefits and does nothing for you as well. If you feel like he's just there, and you're the one always trying to make plans, trying to do little things to make him happy, trying to "talk" about your problems when all he wants to do is walk away, then you should sit him down and lay the groundrules (which you should have done on Day 1)...and it should go something like this: "Hey, I love/ like you, but this relationship is between TWO people, and you seem to always be the missing link"...and then tell him what you want him to change about the way that he interacts with you...it's a start.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): I agree, boys aren't mind readers and they do think and act differently to us!
I had similar problems with my boyfriend and got quite upset and how i thought he didnt like me as much as i liked him, but we talked about it and as it turned out he just didnt want or know how to express fully how he felt, incase i didnt feel the same.
Seriously, if your unhappy i would just bring it up and if hes a boyfriend who is worth it ,he will listen to what you say and understand and reassure. Goodluck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Dear, relationships are rarely even in the way you wish. One partner will inevitably be loved or admired more by the other.
Don't forget that he is a different person and expresses his emotions in his own way. You should only be worried when it is obvious the relationship is one sided, when you make all the effort while the other sits with his hands folded and does nothing to please you or is really uninvolved, uncaring etc.
From what you describe you only seem uncertain if it is normal that you love him more than he loves you. Yes, it is. However, if you feel alone in the relationship or that he doesn't make you happy or doesn't try to make you happy, then it is probably a good idea to calmly and kindly raise his attention to this point and ask him to take initiatives more often, etc. But even if he loves you less, you have a great time together and he is otherwise caring and involved then you don't have much to worry about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): well you're obv bothered or you wouldnt have asked and also boys are betta at hiding their feelings better than girls i thought this about my boyfriend then we had an argument n he was nearly crying cause he thought i was breaking up with him n youve got 3 options 1) tell him how you feel 2) break up with him 3) carry on as you are
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