A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: For a while I had a really tight group of friends... all of which were guys and we have been friends ever since highschool. My best friend... we'll call him Jon were really close and we'd hang out all the time... i have another best friend thats a girl named Catie and i decided to bring her into my group of friends. Since february... catie and Jon started dating and now its just a really awkward situation.... my two best friends are dating and now i never see them anymore. I was especially hurt when catie didnt invite me to her graduation after i had invited her to mine. Never once have i expressed disapproval over their relationship to anyone but deep down I really dislike it. I feel really betrayed by catie since i always included her in my life and friends and now i feel like she's shoved me under the bus. My question is... how do I cope with this... i feel like i lost both of my best friends because they're always together and I cant exactly call jon to hang out since the dynamics of our friendship has changed... i'm another girl into the equation and i feel as though it'd make catie uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like im ok but everytime i see pictures or anything on facebook..those dormant feelings come forth and i start feeling sad and start crying. I know this sounds selfish but i wish this relationship would end... i just want my best friend back. What do I do?
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female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (25 June 2011):
It sounds selfish because it is selfish. It's true that just because they are in a relationship, they shouldn't abandon their friends. However, the single life is different from the relationship life. If you were used to hanging out with him very often, or calling him whenever you were bored and being able to hang out, that will be different now. He has other things that are occupying his time now. Both of them do. But you can still tell both of them that you miss spending time with them and that you'd like to try and hang out a little more often. Chances are they might feel the same way, and realize that they are neglecting their friends somewhat. But realize that the dynamic will be different if they are in a relationship. And wishing their relationship ends would be being a bad friend.
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