A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:ive been seeing a guy for nearly a year now and since the beginning of the year we've started having sex. and ever since then ive become incredibly attatched. before we started having sex we'd only see each other once or twice a week.and it never bothered me not seeing him as much. but now its increased to nearly 6-7 days a week. he has a lot of friends, plays in a popular band and drinks, does drugs. whereas i do have a lot of friends but dont drink or do drugs. he recently told me he cheated on his ex of 6 years twice and since then iam incredibly insecure and now i feel like i need to be with him all the time. he is quite a sensitive and clingy person like me, and will get upset or quiet if i cant see him somtimes. also it is him who asks me out nearly everyday and because i love him i say yes to everything.he even admitted he was crazy about me and obsessed!the last 3 months he has been all about me, saying all his time on the weekend was for me etc. now since last week, hes been dropping hints about how he never sees his friends anymore and the last 3 days we've been together he'll take me back home around 12ish so he can go out with his friends. i know he definately needs to see his friends as hes basically neglected them for 3 months and yet i feel so shut down. i desperately need help as i can just see myself going crazy over this. is he getting over me or does he just need space? how do i give someone who is as clingy as me space?? please help
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female
reader, oliviaclairex  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 He's with you, so he obviously really likes/loves you. Guys are usually pretty easy to read, if he was getting over you, you'd probably know. I think what's probably happened is, one of his mates has been like having a go or saying something taking the mick or saying like he don't bother with the guys anymore, and he probably just doesn't want to loose them.I would try not to worry if i were you, and if you do you could always say something to him like, ''listen we've spent so much time together recently and i know you should spend time with your friends, and i want you to know i think you should and i'm fine with it you should see them more!'' and then you could say how you're feeling, and just say sometimes you worry he might go off you because you like him so much and don't wanna loose him, and if he reassurues you it's not that, i shouldn't worry:) xxxxxxx
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (17 April 2010):
Well if he is asking for space you aren't going to keep the fire burning by being insecure and clingy. Let him go out with his friends... in fact go a step further, and reconnect with your own friends. If he's going to cheat, then he's going to cheat even if you keep him under surveillance 24-7. The best thing you can do is tell him that you are going to give him his space but that his confession about cheating on his ex really freaked you out and you hope that he won't do that to you. Tell him you appreciate his confiding in you and you are trusting him. the best thing you can do is keep the dialogue open in a calm way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): You could talk to him about how you don't want to take all of his time away. That you love him very much and want him to have a life too, and that you think you're taking away from that. You may not exactly feel this, but saying it like this will probably make him feel that you're blaming yourself, rather than just calling him clingy. His feelings will get less hurt this way. It also depends on if he's just the "i love you im SO obsessed" kind, or if he's the "i need to be with you, im a dangerous stalker" kind...it's your decision. If he has the probability of being dangerous..You should tell a trusted friend who can help you stay safe, then tell him it's over..
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