A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel horrible. I have messed up my life. I don't talk to girls, i have rubbish hair and clothes. My mates make fun of evryone even themselves but what makes me feel horrible is that when they make fun of me they are just joking and don't mean it they are really nice guys but i know what they are saying is true. I feel like i would rather stay at home and forget about it all than have to deal with being the last one that gets a girlfriend and the least funny one and everything else. I have fancied 2 girls and messed it up with both of them. I don't know what to do. How do i get my life back on track? Thanks so much for any answers. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 hey chicken, well wat you have to know is that EVERY single person who has ever been your age has felt this way. believe me, no matter how secure your peers may look on the outside, there are insecure on the inside. this too shall pass, and while you think everything is going wrong, just remember that looks arent everything! self confidence is everything - even if its a show, it will become real! if you ooze self confidence, people will just be attracted to you, and want to be around you - friends and girls. just walk tall with a smile and enjoy yourself. people can be cruel at this age, and its awful, buts thats just life hun, everyone goes through their share of this. if you want to improve your appearance - start taking care of it. if your hair looks bad, get it cut. if your clothes are bad, either buy new ones, or customize your own. if you want more help, just email me hun xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Your still young enough for all of this to NOT mess up your life! Your life is just starting and you need to stop being so effected by what others are doing or not doing.
My suggestion to you is to DO something. Sport, creative, culteral or something to get invovled in. Do something other than hand out. Have a purpose about something your interest in. Not only will this make you a much more interesting person, but also give your mind and thoughts something else to do and grow from.
Start making a list of goals and ambitions you are wanting to acheive. Think about the stuff which makes you feel better about the person you are. Have something to do other than focusing on girls and your looks.
If your not happy with your 'hair and cloths' do something about it. Have you an older women in your life who can give you a bit of guidance. I will tell you something, it is highly possible that alot of your friends are full of their own insecurities as well, they may not be as together and happy as you see. So don't assume that everyone else is 'all that' and compare yourself. That is not what it is all about.
What it is all about is being the best you can be. Doing the best you can do and behaving the best way you know. So if there is anything your unhappy with, change it. But don't wait for someone else to do it for you. It is your life and you have to be around 'you' for a long time so make sure your happy with who you have created and things will start to fall into place.
Go to the hairdresser or barber! Laugh and have some fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Awwww sweetheart, I know it sucks! The age you're at, people can be cruel and you can feel overly self-conscious no matter what you look like or what you have! You need to keep in mind that it will get better, okay? And no, absolutely not you have not messed up your life! You're so young, if you blew it with some girls or friends, the beauty of it is that there will be many, many more to come! I promise! What you need to do now is believe in yourself, as corny as that sounds. You need to keep up your self-confidence and know deep down that you're just as good as any of those guys. Plus, I don't know if you're aware, but self-confidence is a HUGE turn-on for girls of any age. Okay? So keep that in mind, and like magic you'll soon start to feel better and see people around you treat you differently. Good luck and don't doubt yourself, you're wonderful!
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