A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing this guy who works a lot and travels very frequently. He's told me that he could not have a committed relationship at this point with his crazy work and travel schedule and I want to know if that is an excuse. We have had sexual relations before and at one time I feel like we were just friends with benefits so i stopped contacting him and he was outta my life for two whole months. I have feelings for him which I told him.Then, somehow I cannot remember how he weaseled into my life again and I'm back to square one. I am having those feelings again and well he said he would be honest with me if i asked him a question so one day I saw a extra toothbrush (besides mine) in his bathroom and I asked if someone stayed over and he said yes, then he told me yea it was some girl he was seeing (aside from me) and he had slept with her before.I am devastated because I dont know what he wants with me in his life still. For his selfish entertainment? Sometimes when we lay in bed and cuddle to sleep (not sexual) I feel connected to him but i tell myself we're only friends and it makes me feel like all these feelings I have are not real and should not exist, and that most probably it is one-sided because of the fact that he tells me he has no time for a relationship and goes on to waste his time on flings.I want to know, if he confesses about some other girl. It prolly means he does not care about developing real romantic involvement with me right, because I feel like if a guy really likes you or says he wants you in his life, he would not try to make you change his impression of him by telling me indirectly he has another bed mate. He tells me he cares about me but I know it's just lip service. Why is he acting this way? He is fully aware that I care deeply about him.Is he telling me indirectly that I should give up on him? Sometimes we hold each other to sleep and he wakes up and kisses me on my head or gives me his keys to his apartment for safekeeping does these all not mean a thing?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Im going to go ahead and tell u like it is, he's just using you for his pleasures nothing more and thats all ur going to be to him. And dont feel alone bc he's doing it to another woman as well. He cant be trusted so why would u want to seriously date him? We cant always go around thinking we can change men, wed like them to change for the better but its not going to happen. When he comes back to town again dont call him or answer if he calls u..Let this one go, u deserve better than him...MUCH better
A
female
reader, BluntLove +, writes (6 August 2010):
No it doesnt mean anything if he gives you a key, or wakes up and kisses you. His everyday actions is what defines a person and how he feels about you. Don't mistake sex for a relationship. If you feel you want more than that with him, then talk to him about it. You can say "Listen, this is great but i want more. If you can't give it to me, then tell me now and don't waver or give me any excuses or side answers. Please answer honestly because i deserve an honest answer." If he's truly a man he'll realize that he's been avoiding this conversation and tell you. And then you can move on to someone who wants to spend every single moment with you and sees how wonderful you are and you don't doubt or worry about every single action. Trust me when a relationship is right, you'd never have to ask these questions in the first place.
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