A
female
age
30-35,
*etmeloveu
writes:I am 20 and I have been with my boyfriend since senior year of high school. My boyfriend is 20 too. So when we first met I paid him no attention. Then, he would sit next to me everyday, follow me to my classes, get stuff for me, he was so nice to me. So,I started to like him. We talked on the phone everyday. Even when I went to Florida that summer for two months we talked every-night. The day I got back from florida I lost my virginity to him and we started going out. After we became a couple he started calling 4 times a day. It started to be a bit much and honestly it started to annoy me. I would hang up on him when i didnt want talk anymore. I would curse him out. Everytime he did something I didn't like I would break up with him until he begged for us to be back together. I treated him like crap for like a year and a half. Then during one of our break ups I dated other guys and that made me appreciate him and made me feel terrible for the way I treated him. Now he lives with his brother. His brother lets him do anything he wants. His brother and friends always have girls over the house. Everytime I come over there is different girls there. Now, my boyfriend acts very differently. He doesnt do the things he use to do. He cheated on me. He use to act like he couldnt live without me . Now he is distant and acts like he doesnt care if we are together or not. Then yesterday he told me I took advantage of him and that he would never love me like that again. When he told me that it made me feel terrible. He did love he use to treat me like a queen now he treats like a regular ass girl. I feel like his friend I don't feel like his girlfriend. I don't even feel like we are in a relationship. He is selfish everything we do is about him. He would rather be with his friends than me. He seems like my homeboy not my boyfriend. I want my boyfriend back.....but he acts like he likes it this way but I hate it. This shit is driving me crazy. I want to be with him, I love him, I wont take advantage of him again. He was a wonderful guy but now he is awful. I feel like I created a monster. I feel I did this to him . But I want him back the way he used to be. How can I fix this? How can I turn him back to the way he used to be??
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (28 December 2012):
Ah - you wanted a "bad boy."
Well, you got one now. Enjoy it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2012): A tale came to my mind. A guy says, he hates his life, its boring, and he has those irritating kids and wife.So he wants something more, adventures. He signes up a contract with a wizard, which will make him dissappear from everybody's life. Nobody will remember him. He can live happily a new life. Then he realises that: "OMG! I had such a good life, and I ruined it!"... You said you were irritated when he behaved like this in the beginning. Are you sure you want to get back that boy again? Who calls you several times a day, who always apologises? Because if you are not sure that you could love that boy now from heart, then better if you let it be like this. Ask yourself the questions, if you liked him ever, or you just played with him? Were you ever in love with him or you were just enjoying the situation that there is a boy who can always make you happy? Why he changed could be, that he talked to his brother about You and as You mentioned he is not at all like him, so he could have opened his eyes and told him not to care for you, care for other girls... After some time (long or short) boys (and also girls) realise that "This is not the way that He/She should behave with me! I am a human being not a toy!" and then he could change like this. I guess the best solution is if you talk to him, and this time listen to him, what HE WANTS, not what you want. Ask him if he loves you, if he is ready to be with you again, if he can forgive you. And if he says something bad, which will make you feel bad, then accept it, and dont start fighting or asking him to be with you. Let him live his life the way he wants, not the way you want. I hope you can talk about it, and you will calm down and you will be together again because I believe you can change and now you love him. But dont forget, every Relationship has 2 members. So not just You are important, even he is :)
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 December 2012):
Well, to be honest with you, it's good that you realize you made a mistake, but if you admitted it to him and he still doesn't care then there may not be much you can do.What works well (as you have seen) is breaking up with (or "mock" breaking up with someone. You have to be prepared to follow through though if he doesn't respond the way you'd hope, otherwise you risk making your relationship even worse.You have to do it without saying anything hurtful. Just tell him you recognize your mistake in how you treated him, you were young and naive, and would give anything to go back in time. Now you know better and want more than anything to be with him, but not like this. So if he decides what he wants to give you a call. It really does open your eyes sometimes so that you can see how important the other person is. My wife did it to me and since I cared about her so much I did some soul searching and reading to find out how she thinks and why she'd been acting the way she had. It was the best thing that's happened to us for a long time!He didn't deserve to be treated the way you treated him and you broke his heart. Little things can put up a permanent wall between two people. Cheating, lying, verbal abuse, etc. You may still love the person but you can't ever feel the same way because you "know too much".The same thing goes for you. You don't deserve to be treated this way (although you're partially to blame). Remember that when a relationship ends it's for a reason, whatever that reason is. It can make you feel like crap, but you'll heal and be a better person afterwords (ideally).
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