A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry for this being long but you need to know the story beforehand-I have been with my partner for about 4 years and brought a house together about 3 years ago. We were happy for about 2 of these years. We always argue, he likes to order me about and is disrepectful towards me.I have left him twice and come back as it was the easiest thing to do. He couldnt afford the house on his own which makes me feel bad and i know i wouldnt want it.We live in a village and i hate the thought that people would be talking about me. I know deep down that i need smeone who can respect me and have a good time, he doesnt like my friends, doesnt like me going out and makes a fuss about it.I feel like i am trapped i am 24 years old and he is 29 and you would think he would be more mature but he isnt. He is set in his ways and is happy going about life every day the way he is, he see snothing wrong with the way he speaks to me and its come to the point where he goes out on his own on a friday to the village as this is where the problems start.I want to leave but dont know how to go about it.... please help i hate confrontation.....His mum also lives a couple of doors away from my mum and dad so they would know if i was in or not which bugs me!
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female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 The best thing to do is leave. I know you have done it before, but you also took the path of least resistance and moved back with him. Instead of worrying about him and his needs, focus on you, stay occupied and make YOUR life better. Cut off ties with him for awhile so you can do just that. He is controlling you, and will get worse everytime you show him that you can't stand up for yourself. I made a child with someone like that. Took me 5 years to develop a backbone and move on. Believe me, having a kid with him made it hard to leave, but I am so glad I did, I look back wondering why I put up with it for that long! Good luck
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