A
female
age
30-35,
*orroliz
writes:I am involved in a frustratingly undefined relationship with a man who is in the process of leaving his girlfriend. She gave birth to his son 5 months ago, but they have only been together 17 months in total... She doesn't believe in abortion. In short, we are waiting until she gets a job and moves out of his apartment to take our relationship beyond anything more than occasional coffee dates and a few kisses, at his request, not mine. I find myself really falling for him - more so than I had anticipated. As I develop more and more feelings for him, I find myself becoming more and more impatient with this moratorium on our relationship.. As well as becoming resentful that my morals won't let me be with any of the other men who ask me out. I feel like I am being asked to wait too long for something I want NOW, and as time goes by I feel like I am being asked to pass up all other opportunities for a relationship that come my way. Should I tell him I"m not waiting anymore? Should I try my best to forget about my feelings for him? Or should I stop being patient, and insist that we step up right now?
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female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 He is using you sweetie. No one wants to think that is so, but all of us women have been used before and know the score.
He is using you as a way to deal with pressure and frustration. He is a father for the rest of his life and she is the mother of his children forever.
You need to find a man who does not have a girlfriend or children. His child will always come before you and what you need. And so will she. You have to always come last and that's a reality. If he means that much to you to be last, that is your decision. But you will never be first and that is difficult to deal with. Please move on and find someone else who you will be number one with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): i think u should stop waiting because once they tell u that then it means they dont really want to leave there gf but still want some one else. if i where u i would tell him that he either needs to leave her if he really wants to be with me or im not ganna sit and wai around. i mean u shouldnt have started leting ur self get attached to him so fast because thats just going to make it harder on you but i wish u the best of luck.
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