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I feel like he`s putting his friend first

Tagged as: Faded love, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *allyanne writes:

Hi I have been going with my bf for about two years. We don't live together we live about twenty mins apart. But since I move from the same village he always spends time at his friends on the drink and only comes to c me about four times week. I do not get on with his friend so I don't go over plus I have a little girl but I feel he is putting them first and am not sure if its the length of time we have been together or the fact he has gone off me even though he's swears he hasn't and always says he loves me please can any one help

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (9 December 2013):

Ciar agony auntI agree. Four nights out of seven means he's spending most of his time with you. With what's left to him he has to find time for himself and other friends. How much more time were you expecting him to spend with you?

I think you're expecting a bit much here. Your boyfriend may not have gone off you yet but if you keep this up, he surely will.

What do you do with your daughter when you two get together? Does he come over or do you bring her there? Or do you arrange a sitter and go alone? That's a lot of disruption in her young life as well. Four nights of the week either someone comes over or she goes there.

How do you spend your time when he isn't around? Do you work? I can't imagine a single, working mum wanting to go out or entertain company most nights of the week. So I'm guessing you're on the dole, means you have more free time on your hands than you need and not a whole lot of company. You'll have to find some way to fill it so you're not relying so heavily on your boyfriend.

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A male reader, J.B United Kingdom +, writes (8 December 2013):

4 times a week? In my opinion, that is quite a lot, to say you're not living together.

I cannot comment for anyone else but when I am with someone after the whole 'I can't see you enough period' at the start then 3-4 times per week is enough.

The guy obviously needs time with his friends or doing any hobbies he may have. He can't be available every single day of the week.

I'd actually struggle to see someone 4 times per week on a regular basis with commitments to certain things throughout the week and trying to see friends at least once per week.

I'd say give him a break and stop worrying that he isn't in to you.

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