A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend were coming up on our 2nd year anniversary but lately things have been shaky. Then when I thought we got over all of our arguements, everything seemed fine, I went on his comp and found that he was talking to a girl he had once wanted to date. Earilier I found an email from another girl (his co-worker who moved to Hawaii) that was more than just friendly. He claims the email was false and that he had no idea why she was sending him things, and he had no intention on seeing her. But when talking to this girl the other day, he lied to her saying he owned his own store in Hawaii, that he was still going to school, (eventually he told her he lied) but also stated that he did have a friend in Hawaii he was going to go visit. I found out later he wasnt even going to tell me about his recent talk with his old friend. I feel heart broken because he promised me he wouldnt talk to any girls being how much it upsets me from things that have happened in my past. All the lies and betrayal, this was the person I was making future plans with of getting married etc, and I dont know how to feel. He swore he would never cheat, but that's how it feels right now. Please help where should we go from here!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): She leaves out the part where she wants me to stop talking to -all- of my female friends...ex'es, close friends, doesn't matter. Or how I deleted all the photos I had of them, just for her. Photos of my prom, special events, just hanging out around the house. Doesn't matter. Or how I stopped talking to my best friends, and my all time best friend, whom I viewed as family, a brother. And all this for her. Just so she can break up with me tonight. Well, I gave it my all, and now I can finally see that I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm no longer the friendly, lovable person that everyone used to love talking to, or hanging out with. I'm no longer the person that people go to when they're feeling distressed or upset. I'm just some guy, not talking to anyone, worried about doing the smallest thing to lose the love of his life. And even though you've broken up with me, "for good", I'm still going to try. I'm not giving up on us, on the future we had. I swear, I was just catching up with an old friend whom I hadn't seen since....well, since we started dating. And that email? I'm still unsure how she got my address, but hey, guess what? I deleted the first one, and she has still yet to send another. You'd know, too. You have all my passwords, just so you can check. I'm not sure what you'd call that, but in my eyes, that requires a great deal of trust. You're right, there's probably something wrong with me. All this pain, all this frustration you put me through, and I still keep coming back. I love you. And I'm not giving up on us.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007): There's nothing wrong with talking to other women, but if the message was "more than friendly" to you, you need to tell your bf to stop, because you are getting hurt. If he truly loves u, he'll stop. If he does it behind ur back, he's not worth ur time.
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A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (23 June 2007):
Hun, I went through the exact same thing. I am no longer with the woman that put me through it. I gather that you are a sincere, loving person. I would say do what I did, give him an ultimatum. Either he stops talking with these other women, or he loses you. If he truly cares for you, he will stop.Good Luck!
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