A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just recently I had a one-night stand kind of situation. But it was somewhat tangled. I went out with some people I know from high school because I'd been a homebody with no friends. When I went out the other person and I ended up alone and we were making out sometimes. (BTW it was in the middle of the woods - situation I couldn't get myself out of.) He was pushing things, I wasn't fighting super hard, just almost using all my strength sometimes to try to push his arms to safer places, but not pushing him away. Or.. not always/not strongly saying no. I don't feel raped but it might be in the "grey" area. So... he obviously liked me, wants a relationship. I try because I feel bad but realize within a day that I can't and tell him. We only slept together once. But now I feel horrible. I feel bad for him and I feel like a slut/that I definitely look like one and that he's probably gonna be pissed and say he is. But he was nice and had attractive qualities. We just don't have the same qualities/opitions on key things and out lives just don't mesh. I'm a pretty good girl, not innocent but far from bad and he's been to jail and might end up there again. I went to NYU and am going to Penn State, he doesn't have a high school diploma or a license. You get me right?? Just please... tell me I wasn't a completely slut and that I at least did the right thing fro me and him by ending things when I knew? And can anyone help me feel better about sleeping with this guy the first time we really hang out (we went to school together for a bit but other than that no real interaction.) ..... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Fact = fact
You slept with him already made you a slut. You may think I'm acting tough by that's the way it is... The story will come back no matter what, people may try to make you feel good, but facts can never be changed... Believe it or not, just try to tell the same story to your next bf right? This is barely possible as we all know it..
Once it's unleashed it may never be the same again. The best resolve would be to pass on your knowledge of what you experienced to someone else such as your daughter or friends or even young ones out there to not make the same mistake..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): Update/Thanks from original poster:
I just wanted to say thanks. You answers really helped though I'm still having a tough time of it. I asked another question here because I'm having such a hard time but both of your answers really did helped. Thank you so much. =)
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A
female
reader, gandt  +, writes (7 September 2009):
You aren't a "slut" for this. From the sounds of it you sort of wanted to sleep with someone, but not necessarily this guy. You did the right thing in telling him it's not going anywhere.
You are learning that relationships - emotional and physical are hard, and at a young age it's difficult to know how appropriately to act around others. This boy sounds like he likes you but isn't particularly mature in how to get this message across.
Just make sure to keep yourself safe and not get into another situation where you feel like you might get hurt. You don't need a man to validate you as a person, perhaps try to meet new friends in your new ventures.
Good luck.
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