A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am getting married in about 5 months. My fiance is paying even though traditionally the bride's family should pay. My dad is also sick and so my parents are not very well off. Now everytime we discuss something about the wedding and if the discussion ends in a fight (which has only happened 3 times) he throws it in my face that he is the one paying for everything which makes me feel like a charity case. I am also contributing around 20% of the costs myself. Am I right to feel belittled by this comment or am I just over-reacting? What should I do?
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 My suggestion is that you elope...this will cut the costs of a big fancy wedding, and put that money as a down payment on a house. Then when you come back married, once a week have dinner at someone's house that you would have invited, and that will be your social life.-Frank B Kermit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): This arises questions about how your future husband will behave after the wedding. How well do you know him as not to expect insulting comments after you're married? If he is financially better, he shouldn't use this to make you feel uncomfortable, but people don't always weigh the gravity of words before speaking them. It's not about counting who offered more, and after all, as husband and wife you're supposed to share things with pleasure. Have you considered discussing this with him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): I think you should discuss this with him, since you are getting married you should be able to tell him about your feelings and if there is a problem with him paying for most of the wedding.You should really sit down and talk cause you don't want to be unhappy marrying this guy your'll must love each other if your'll are planning a wedding so the best thing you can do now is talk to your partner
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