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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now, and he is really close with his sister she is older than him though, but like she comes into to his room when I'm there and talks to him and she uses his computer so we have no privacy together!! She always asks him to help her with her uni work which means we have time apart for her!!!! I leave my things at his house and she goes in an tries my things on!! Then when I use hers she goes mad!!! Last night she said my boyfriend's ex's name in a conversation!!! She is like a 3rd part to our relationship but he is sooo close to her I'm scared of talking to him? I think he will finish with me if I say anything. Help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bucket1  +, writes (20 February 2010):
i'm curious, how did it pan out in the end? i'm having the same sort of problem x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): I think she is jealous of the fact that he spends time with you, which is why she barges in on him when you're with him, and asks him to help her with homework (which I find unusual because she is older, kinda weird asking your little brother to help you with homework, most older silbings think they are smarter than their little brother or sister).
I think you should talk to him and tell him that when you are at his house, you are his guest, and it's not right that he leaves you alone to go help his sister. If she needs help, he can help her some other time when you are not there. When you are at his house, he should be devoting his attention to you, not other members of his family.
Also, I would stop leaving your clothes or other things at his house, you are just inviting her to take advantage of that. The other thing I would do is for you and him to spend more time at your place so his sister won't be around. And be sure not to let her come over to your place when your BF is there.
I am just curious, do you think there is some kind of sexual tension between your BF and his sister? Like do you know or think they had some kind of sexual experience with each other when they are younger? The reason I ask is that once a woman has some kind of sexual experience with a man, she gets very jealous when another woman moves into the picture, and starts to do things to get him away from her, sort of like saying "this is my man, you stay away from him."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Brothers and sisters who get along have a special bond and when it comes time for others to come into a siblings life, it is sometimes hard to adjust.You are stealing her BROTHER! Her baby brother. Her behaviour is CLEARLY that of a person defending their property. I wouldn't worry to much about her, ask yourselve instead why HE isn't more agressive in wanting to be with you. Sorry but relationships between two people are NEVER just between two people, you date someone you date their entire social circle. I am an orphan myself and I have had more then one GF express deep gratitude for that. No interfering mother in law, no family gatherings to go to.So deal with the fact that you got a snarling sister who is fighting to keep the baby brother she grew up with.On a positive note, how a guy treats his sister reflects how he treats other women. Would you want a guy who just told his sister to piss off and not help her with her homework? You just got to slowly make clear that there are now two women in his life who want to be with him. Sometimes he will be with his sister, sometimes with the both of you, but more and more he will have to choose to be with you.But don't begrudge her a bit of time and ask yourselve how you would feel if you were close with a sibling and someone suddenly moved in. Baby brothers/sisters are special.But don't see her as the enemy, because if you ask a guy to choose between his family and girl he's only been seeing for a couple of months, then any man who worth hanging on to will choose family. After all, if you are serious about him, don't you want to become family as well?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Mandy is so right with this one, let it flow straight over your head. Try and get him out of the house a bit more often and stop taking so much stuff over there, and if you have to take any, then make it manky stuff that she can have. She will be gone soon and she is his older sister, they grew up together and have history, not the sexual type of course, but the brother - sister stuff. Get interested in some book or magazine and ignore them when they are doing uni stuff. If you put pressure on now you could be out on your own. If you two are still together by the time you have been together for a year and he is still going on like this then i think i would have a word or two, but it is early days right now.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 March 2008):
 HEY!!
Thats a difficult situation because you need to think about how to approach it.. maybe say to his sister how come she wont let you try her clothes on but shes alrite to try yours on?.. tell your boyfriend you want some time alone with him.. i have the same problem with my partner and his mum :S
GOOD LUCK!! Feel free to mail me at any time x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Let this go right over your head its her little brother and she is pissing on her territory(metaphorically speaking or there would be trouble!!!!:)
Be sooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice to her even when she is nasty to you..(IT CONFUSSES PEOPLE!) She is older than u have you got a hot mate that you could pop in her direction just a thought sweetheart, Seriously dont let it get to you she is a pro with her brother but your soooo much more clever cause Im a mum and ive got 2 boys and I can tell you secrets!!!!SHHHHH Say nothing at all take some clothes round that you wouldnt dream of wearing again hunny and see if she knicks them (ITS ABIT OF FUN PEOPLE!!!!) LOL!!!!!!!Im nice really I am :) Plus Ive got 2 boys 26 and 18 so I no stuff!!!!!! really sweetheart dont let her get to you, Go for walks get out the house abit more. And take a bunch of mags with you to read while he helps her with her homework!!!! Good job your not going out with my son I pinch all his g/f stuff but I MAY LET HER PINCH MINE TO!!!! MAY I SAY!!!!!!! Keep it cool and keep your fella she will disapear soon enough hunny and every time you think of it now JUST LAUGH OK HOPE THIS HELPS TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR FELLA OH AND HIS SISTER!!!!! LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX :)
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