A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello DearCupid Aunts,I am a 25[M] in a relationship with an amazing 23[F]. I am working as a Teaching Assistant and pursing my Master's Degree and hopefully, I will finish in a year or so. She is a last year engineering student. The relationship with my girlfriend is very stable and mature. We love each other. I am in touch with her parents and siblings and they love me and respect me as well. My mom is in touch with her mom as well and gifts have been exchanged between them as well.My issue lies within me and no one else. Her Family is richer than mine. They have more cars, bigger houses ,companies, partnerships and they really do spend. I am not poor at all. My family is a middleclass level financially and socially wise. My income will be at least tripled after I finish my Masters degree. But, I always feel that I am somehow inferior to her, even though she never told me anything like that before even when we argued together. I am always wondering, How will she leave her parent's house to live with someone who is financially less than her? Or How will she live in a smaller apartment compared to her living in a Villa? Is she going to be happy?I have confronted her with my concerns and she said, she doesn't care much about these things as long as she is living well. She does love me and money can come and go and that I will be financially better in the future I can make her live well, but I cannot make her live her parent's. Every time she mentions something even though I know she is just talking without any intentions at all, these emotions of inferiority creeps in and I feel like I want to push her away to find someone richer and better than me.A side note: We are very communicative. I treat her well with all love and respect. Even when we fight, we fight fairly and express our negatives emotions in a very mature manner.I know this is all illusion in my mind. I just want help to overcome it. Even though I hear a lot of men cannot date a woman who is richer than them.Thank you for listening!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Denizen
Thank you for your reply as well as following up. These concerns have been brought up many times and she assured me it is no problem. All she cares about is to be happy The last time I brought it up, she felt angry though. I am overthinking this matter a lot. Social Traditions cannot be changed, however, women can be responsible for their own purchases, but no more than that.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (25 June 2017):
Good for you. But from a western point of view women are equally responsible for finances. You need to ascertain what she will expect as a married woman and what your financial arrangements will be.
This is something you need to straighten out with her. You obviously have your pride but don't let it come in the way of love. Get talking and sort out the issues. Better now than later.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Denizen
If things were other way around, there was going to be no problems. You are right. It is a gender things since men are responsible for the finances and I will not be able to make her live the same way she used to live, not because of her being independent. I do earn my money by myself and I am not the type of guy who would ask her for any financial help either.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (25 June 2017):
Money shouldn't come in the way of love. Ask yourself if things were the other way around would you still love her? Or is it the gender thing that is creeping in here? Is it because she is, and will be, financially independent of you?
Look if you can earn an honest penny and are not sponging off her and her family then you have every right to be happy together.
Some children from rich families actually don't want much to do with their family's money. They prefer to make their own way in life. Perhaps she is the same and wants to make her way with you.
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