A
female
age
51-59,
*arks girl
writes:i've been with my bf for over 2 years, before me lets just say variety was his spice of life, literally hundreds of women!! he's a lawyer for a major financial company and i know at times he has to go away on business but this time he told me less then 2 days before he had to leave, so i slept over on monday night we woke up at usual time for him to get ready for work but instead of putting on his suit he wore shorts and a polo shirt and said it was the companies picnic!!! ON A TUESDAY?!!! YEAH OK!!! we left the same time as usual and to top it off that morning he packed a duffel bag with his martial arts uniform cause he had class that night and his class is in the park so were the hell did he think he was going to be able to change?!!!! he didnt call me all that day which is very odd until later in the evening for about 2 minutes and he had to hang up quick!! late that night he text me he loved me and let me tell you that isnt normal for him he doesnt have a romantic bone in his body, then again in the morning another text saying he missed and loved me and then another!!!very weird!!! out of the blue i got this awful pit in my stomach a true gut feeling and a screaming in my head that was telling me he was not going away on business but to see his ex who just happens to be a porn star that he likes to brag about. i have no way to prove it but i have had this feeling before about other things and its never and i mean never been wrong!! he didnt call me all that day except for literally a minute around dinner time said he would call later and never did, said he fell asleep early!! uh huh!! and get this he was supposed to come home on friday but lo and behold now he has a cousin i have never heard of in the same city he just happens to be in for business so now he is staying till sunday!!! BS right?!!! i text him last night about my feelings that he is with her and i never got a reply except to tell me he went to bed early!!! am i paranoid? should i trust my instinct? cant just freak out on him and say i feel it in bones you are with her cause i have no proof!!! this is driving me crazy and its eating away at me!! what do i do? someone help me please i need some advice!!!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 June 2009):
 It might be her, it might be 20 other "porn" queens.. It could be a 20 year old student or a 65 year old librarian...
Who the women is, is not really important. TRUST me. HIS actions is what is important. What he says is what is important, and most of all WHAT you feel is important.
As hard as it sounds I would pack my stuff and leave. If you don't share a place then take what is yours from his place and mail him the key to his work.
A
female
reader, marks girl +, writes (18 June 2009):
marks girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questiononly reason i believe its the porn star is because she is the only one that lives states away and would have to fly to go see her. he hasnt even told me what city he is in let alone what hotel!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2009):
If you get a feeling something is wrong it usually is. Is he cheating? Maybe. Something odd is going on for sure.
I would tell him that you are having some trust issues with him lately and why. ( I wouldn't mention the ex pornstar - cause that will just sound like weirdo insecurity ) But if he was not lying he would "prove" or show you that he in fact did go to a picnic with his company. ( And yes it can happen on a Tuesday, specially if Tuesdays are known as "slow days" I know my husband ( who is Military) have picnic or any given week-day. Rarely on Fridays because it can interfere with week-ends. However when I worked in the private sector we usually had those on Fridays or Saturdays, just saying, you never know.
If he gets very defensive and deflect the "blame" or "guilt" back on you, you can be pretty sure there is something going on he isn't telling you.
don't carry your suspicions around, they will only make you over analyze stuff which is actually quite innocent. Talk to the guy.
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A
female
reader, marks girl +, writes (18 June 2009):
marks girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for your advice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): As much as we sometimes hate to admit it, our gut instincts are usually right. From what you have wrote, I would be having the same feelings as you. Expecially considering his past. Definatly confront him about it and watch his reaction, if your still feeling that he is doing something wrong I would suggest that you move on before you get even more hurt. You dont need someone like that! I dont know the guy but from what you said, I would find it hard to believe that he ISNT cheating. It sucks and it hard to face but if thats the case this guy does not deserve you! I wish you the best! Let me know how everything works out! Be strong!!
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